Living RomCom

Living RomCom

She's quirky!

I mean, that's a prerequisite

to deserve anything in this modern world.

Just get with it.

But they see her quirkiness and they just can't sit with it.

'Cause it's not the kind that's hip.

It's not like she wears her sunny yellow pumps on a rainy day-

well, of course she DOES, but-

it's not like she wears them, out on a little trip, gives a little slip...

and falls.

Because she's a klutz, and in essence, that's the extent

of her quirkiness.

She falls, they fall in love. After enough instances of her falling in their laps.

It's, "It's you! You, my love!"

Forget the rich fiancee.

Pick the klutz who's sunny in the rain, who's normal, but

she's unique because

she refuses to acknowledge that dark, cold life abyss is there-

even though she might be particularly in danger of falling in it.

And maybe she has one too many cats.



But, really

We'll call her Lily

Lily is a very hot name right now.

Lily has no luck.

She's not like that other girl.

She buys a light-up globe,

breaks it off its stand, its axis,

and tries to spin it on her finger.

She can't, but

it symbolizes how she'd like to move the world.

And light it up, natch.

She paints her nails with a goopy grape

that smells like goopy grapes.

And she's never had a problem with her weight.

So to Bridget Jones, she can't relate.

Not that she's a waif.

She just thinks her squishy bits are kind of great.



And she has lots of birds like she lives in a nursing home,

which might make it difficult to bring a man home,

lest they feel any Hitchcockian sense of dread.

But luckily, she's not really prioritizing finding that special guy to wed.

And it's not cuz she's married to her career- that's sort of a non-starter-

and you have to change her mind.

She just happens to believe:

"Seek too hard, and you will not find."



Colin's obsessed with his job.

And he's sometimes a total knob.

He's handsome and successful,

and he can charm where he pleases.

But he's also sardonic,

somewhat neurotic, quite ironic, and maybe a wee bit histrionic.

But at least he's not idiotic.

Except perhaps when it comes to choosing the right girl.

And now we need a "meet cute".

Maybe they will meet cute with meat.

And maybe wait and hold on, cuz it might not be what you think!

We'll put them at a butcher shop,

buying hot links and salami.

It’s not at all like that Maroon 5 video, either.

It’s as simple as mixed up orders;

each getting the others.

And then maybe an accidental,

inappropriate comment about sausage.

He thinks she’s cute.

She thinks he’s cute.

The date is made.



And it’s meant to be “just a date.”

But we know how these things go.

When he doesn’t think he has time for a personal life.

And she doesn’t think she wants life to get too personal.

Fate has stepped in, and it's in their best interest to comply.

He’s less charming and more of a churl

when he scoff at her throwing pennies in a fountain,

this silly, whimsical girl.

And she can’t sweetly or wittily cajole

It's not her talent; she'll

essentially just call him an a-hole.

But Colin dislikes artifice, and

prefers his Lilies ungilded by deceitful politeness.

Just like Lily values a man who knows what he's about;

who's willing to see her just as well.



Here comes a courtship montage!

They have every little chance for bonding.

It takes two two-left-footed people

to tango so badly when they take a lesson,

that they can't stop laughing.

And a heartfelt moment eating chili dogs on a blanket in the park:

a messy food to go with messy feelings,

gooey, goulash-y, vulnerable, deep-down things.

Fear of being alone, which he alludes to.

Fear of the dark, cold life abyss, about which she is more univocal.

Fear of lost dreams, they agree on that one.

And make memories of getting caught in the rain

and their ice cream cones getting all wet.

Even chasing his escaped dog through the park.

And as for her pets,

he doesn’t even get

too creeped out when

those many beady eyes stare at him during their tenderer moments.

Which are awesome, by the way.

As often happens with people when

they have undeniable sparks.

But of course, there has to be the inevitable

misunderstanding.



With an ebullient chemistry,

causing things to bubble up in his brain

(which sounds dangerous, but it’s not in a deadly way)

His love for her has him wanting

a truer love for what he does for work.

Though his lawyer parents want him for

a partner at their law firm,

now Colin

is remembering his old passion for the tuba.

And they're less inclined

to approve of

this woman their son's brought home.

This tinge of contravention

is a sort of ample tension.

And she says she wants to take a break,

for their relationship,

to evaluate its direction.

Then one day downtown,

he sees her buying luggage,

and he overhears her talking about moving to Spain.



That's when he decides on the classic airport chase.

Out of the two of them, he's probably the dramatic one.

He finds her there, sees her there, off in the distance,

while out beyond large, broad windows,

planes take to the air,

She will be heading toward the gate.

He prays he's not too late.



He's huffing and puffing

and he hopes to blow all her reservations down.

He comes to a stop before her, winded and red-faced.

It's all too convenient for him to fall to his knees

while he begs for her not to go.

He's disheveled and sweaty, and maybe not

so flawless as you'd want to be to make an irresistible case.



But to her, he’s a sight for a sore heart.

Even as tears well in her eyes,

and a smile blooms on her face,

"I'm here for my sister,"

she says with a gesture.

"She's going to Ibiza.

Why are you chasing me through an airport?!

I wasn't even going to leave.

And I'm not meant for a romantic comedy."

He climbs to his feet, cups her cheek

in his hand, and smiles.

"No, Lily," he states. "You're just meant for me."