Alice in Zombieland

Alice in Zombie-land

Lighting the fuse on the grenade, Alice chucked it over the wall into the Red Queen’s roses. The detonation rattled her bones and made her bite down, puncturing her tongue. Spitting out pink saliva, she fought the urge to cry out in pain.

The explosion caused groans to erupt from the surrounding forest. Zombies! -- And now they knew where she was. There was only one chance of escape. Hoisting herself up on the thick stone wall, she balanced herself before running on top of it. A glance to her left showed her the lack of damage her grenade had caused. Scores of Card Guards with long pointed spears gathered at the base of the wall glaring up at her with deteriorating faces, showing bone and teeth under the holes in their rotting flesh. Their grey-green pallor and stench caused her stomach to lurch. She swallowed down the bile filling her mouth and continued forward.

The White Rabbit had dragged her here, telling her she was needed and begging her to come. Alice finally agreed, although she assumed he'd exaggerated the situation, after all this was the same rabbit who'd ran around saying he was "late for an important date" when'd actually been a half day early. But this -- the situation could never have been over-inflated. The Jabberwocky had turned all of the guards into zombies, who had in turn converted half of Wonderland. The Red Queen was holed up in the palace with the King and no one knew where the White Court had disappeared to.

“You’re going the wrong way,” said the Cheshire cat, appearing on a tree branch to her right.

“You’re mad!” Alice yelled, hurrying past him. “The wall is tumbling down behind me, I can’t run that way.”

“We’re all mad here! But that’s neither here nor there. Hatter is waiting for you.”

She turned to see the cat’s grin shining like a crescent moon in the shadow of the tree branches. Listening to the cat was always a risky thing. He never told the whole truth. There was no doubt the Mad Hatter was waiting for her. Hatter might be trying to save her or …. The other thought was too horrible to think of. Alice had few enough friends here. If Hatter had been converted to a mindless zombie whose only thoughts were to feed or convert others into hungry beasts -- it was more than she could handle.

Ignoring the cat’s warning, Alice rushed forward over the debris on top of the wall, hurrying to the corner. She could continue on top of the wall if she went to the left, or jump down and take her chances in the forest. Indecision cost her, a Jack of Spades grabbed her foot. As she struggled to get free, she slipped and tumbled on the far side of the wall, jarring her head as she hit the ground. Staring up at the sky, she saw blue-birds circling her head in her peripheral vision. Clenching her eyes shut, she could hear their mocking chirping in her ears.  A wave of vertigo threatened to overtake her.

“Get up Alice,” said a voice to her left. “This is no time to take a nap.”

Turning her head, she squinted at the silver form of a man on horseback. The White King loomed over her, his armor glinting in the sun. Getting on her hands and knees, she managed a meager smile for the monarch.

“King, they said you and your court had disappeared.”  Managing to struggle to her feet without losing the contents of her stomach, she asked, “How did you know?”

“You made quite a bang,” he said, lifting up his face-guard to show his weathered face. “I assumed you could use some help.”

“But how did you know it was me?”

“I didn’t.” He glanced away, looking abashed. “But now that I am here, I assume you could use a way out.”

“A way out?”

“You don’t belong here Alice, you need to go home.” The look on his face was anything but friendly.

“Home,” she echoed, taking a step backward. “King, where has the White Court gone? How did the Jabberwocky come back from the dead?”

“The White Court is safe, there’s no need for you to worry about us. Come Alice, I will take you to the rabbit hole so you can return home,” he said, ignoring her question about the beast she’d slain so long ago.

“And my friends? The March Hare, Dormouse, Mock-turtle …” she huffed trying to remain composed. “What about the Mad Hatter and Cheshire Cat? Are any of them going to be safe?” Narrowing her eyes as she watched the lack of expression on his face, she realized what he wasn’t saying. “What did you do? If it hadn’t been me, what would you have done?”

“He’d have lopped off their head!” said the Cheshire cat in a gleeful voice, appearing on the head of the horse.

She spared a glance at Ches, knowing the King couldn’t see him.  Smoothing down the tunic she was wearing, she tried to ignore the cat’s words.  He couldn’t be right.  The White Court was virtuous.

“I’d have done what was necessary,” said the King, looking away from her.

Ches was speaking the truth.  The horror of it caused her to stumble over her words. “You’d have killed them!” Alice declared. She took several steps backwards, placing her against the stone wall. “You heartless tyrant. What happened to you? You were the good guys? Why is the White Court doing this?”

“Silly Alice,” said the King and Cheshire cat in unison.

“There are no good guys in Wonderland,” continued the King. “Only winners and losers, everything here is a game. It’s too bad you ask questions instead of taking opportunities.” Leveling his lance, he sneered at her. “I really wish this could have ended differently -- check Alice.”
“Alice,” cried an urgent voice from overhead. She looked up to see the Mad Hatter on the back of a rocking-horsefly. “Catch.”

A chunk of mushroom fell toward her. Opening her hand, she lurched forward and caught the bit of grey sponge he’d thrown down. Experience told her the bite would either make her grow or shrink. Whichever size she ended up being, it was better than getting speared in the head. Putting it into her mouth, she chewed and swallowed it as fast as she could. The king charged forward on his horse, lowering the lance to where her head had just been.

She’d shrunk so fast there had been an audible pop. The grass towered over her and she looked up to see the King trying to pull his weapon out of the stone wall. Hatter waved at her to follow him, but she wasn’t sure how she could. Between the erratic folds of the clothes she’d been wearing surrounding her and the deathtrap of the horse’s hooves pounding the earth, she was sure she would be dead soon.

Taking a deep breath, she ducked into the arm of the jerkin she’d been wearing. She hurried through the length of fabric, pulling off a sewn-on-patch which was hanging by a few threads. Wrapping it around her body like a toga, she continued forward as fast as she could.

Her heart felt like it was going to pound its way out of her chest as she tried to reconcile the facts.  The White King, had just tried to kill her. He hadn't denied being culpable for the zombie invasion -- in fact, he'd as much as admitted being responsible. She didn’t have time to process the puzzle right now, it would have to wait until she was safe. Rushing forward, she emerged out of the sleeve. A quick glance at the horse’s hooves slamming into the ground was all she took before hurrying in the other direction.

“Alice!” The roar of the White King reverberated around her. “You can’t escape so easily. Either go back to your world or suffer the fate of this one.”

She looked up, trying to see where he was. There was no way to tell whether she was going toward the stone wall or the woods with the tall weeds obscuring her vision. Alice hurried forward, praying she was moving away from the castle and the King. Entering a small break in the grass, a shadow blocked out the sun. There was no way to tell if it was the Hatter or the King and she didn’t have time to hesitate. Rushing toward the other side, she panicked as she was scooped up.

“I’ve got you,” said Hatter. “But we can’t delay.”

“What did you pick me up with?” asked Alice. The deep maroon walls felt like matted fur. “Is this your hat?”

“Aye,” Hatter chuckled. “It was what I had available - besides it worked.” He grinned down at her.

Standing on her tip-toes, she was able to peer over the edge of the hat. The forest was decimated with fallen trees and dead plants everywhere, nothing had been spared. A dead rose bush with a pair of spectacles hanging off a wilted branch, caused her to gasp.

“The flower garden? Hatter, tell me some of them lived … please.”

His silence caused her to look up. A tear escaped his eye as he shook his head in denial. No more dandy-lions, no more pansy princes, she looked at their dried up corpses as they flew by. They hadn’t been nice or pleasant to be around, but how could Wonderland be Wonderland without them.

A sudden thought turned her blood cold. “The mome raths?” she asked wondering if any of them had survived.

“Where?” asked Hatter, his eyes wide with terror filling in his voice.

“I was just wondering if any of them survived.”

“Survived?” he shook his head. “In a manner of speaking -- they are infected. What happened to the flowers is a blessing compared to what happened to the mome raths. There are so many of them. Don’t let them come near you, they will swarm you and…it would be nasty-nasty snickity-spat.”

Exiting the forest, they entered Mushroom Valley. Red tops with white spots filled the field as far as Alice could see. In the distance, a caterpillar sat on the top of the largest mushroom. Although it was green, it wasn’t the grey-green of the zombie more the healthy green of an apple.

“Who are you?” asked the caterpillar, peering over the side of the oversized fungus.

“Friends,” replied Hatter.

“Dead friends or live friends?” the caterpillar asked.

“Mariposa, it is Alice and I.” Hatter shook his head. “If we were dead, we shouldn't admit it should we -- we would only moan leaving you to figure out the nay or yeah of it.”

“Perhaps, but maybe zombies can talk now and this is a trick.” Mariposa answered with conviction written on his face.

"Mariposa it is time for you to change, we need to get Alice out of here before she too is converted," Hatter said as he carefully picked her up and placed her on top of the mushroom. He still had not gotten off the rocking-horsefly.

“Out of here? What? No Hatter you can’t, I have to help," Alice declared, turning to look at Hatter.

Ignoring her, Mariposa began to spin a cocoon of pale blue silk.

“Listen Alice, the White Queen was infected by the blood of the Jabberwocky when she refused to burn his body. He resurrected as a zombie and she ended up in his control. The Queen is no longer human -- she sent her infected guards to escort the Jabberwocky and take the Red Court. There is nothing you can do to help."

"The King wasn't infected," she insisted.

"Only because he never removes his armor. He is devoted to his queen and will do whatever she commands, regardless of how ludicrous. But he wears his ridiculous silver plate day and night."
“We could kill the Jabberwocky. We did it once -- we might be able to do it again.”

Hatter laughed. “You don’t think we thought of that…you think we haven’t tried.” He shook his head, staring into the distance.

“There has to be something we can do.” She wrung her hands as she searched his face. There had to be a better answer than sending her back to her mundane existence.

Hatter shook his head. “There is no we." Pointing at her, he said, "You are going home.”

A shrill sound echoed through the mushroom field, the volume causing spores to bloom out of the older fungus around them, giving the air a bubblegum pink hue. Looking out, Alice could see a putrid dragon-like creature coming over a far ridge. Flesh hung off its skeletal frame showing bone beneath as empty eye sockets seemed to scan the valley.

She heard the White King exclaim, "Find them. Find the traitors as ordered by the Queen."

Card guards, and white and black pawns rushed over the hill -- their spears peeking out between the mushrooms.  She watched as the Jabberwocky reared up and exhaled a stream of heated toxic gas.  Fungus exploding before him.  Spears fell as the soldiers fell to the blast.

“Run!” said Hatter getting off the mount.  “Here ride the rocking-horsefly out of the vale.  Go home Alice.  I couldn’t stand it if you were to die to this insanity.”

Glancing between the cocoon of the caterpillar and Hatter, she wanted to say no.  She wanted to stay and fight.  But horde descending upon them – if they didn’t leave, then they were doomed.

“Come with me, there is nothing you can do!”

“I’ll just slow down the pony.  Mari will bring me when she’s able.”  Reaching down, he grabbed a bit of mushroom and then shoved it into her hand.  “Once you reach the forest, use this to grow before going down the rabbit hole. “

She starred at the red spongy bit.  “Hatter…” she could hear the whine in her voice and knew he didn’t want her sympathy.

“You need to go now,” he exclaimed, looking over her shoulder. 

Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, he grabbed the cocoon and slid off the mushroom top, leaving her with no one to argue with.  She grabbed the reigns of the horsefly and swung herself on to its back.  With a last glance behind her, she urged the rocking-horsefly toward the woods on the other side of the valley.

Because of her diminutive size they were able to fly twice as fast as Hatter had.  Before she knew it, they were in the woods.  Looking around, she wondered where she was supposed to go. Both Hatter and the King had mentioned the rabbit hole, but she had no idea how to get there.

Stopping the horsefly by a large crooked tree, she jumped down onto a road running in front of it.  Her hairs pricked up on the back of her neck as she recognized a door carved into the tree.  It was the door leading back to the Queen’s garden.  Looking to the left, she saw a sign indicating the direction to the Hatter’s house.  Turning to the right, she took a hard swallow.

Memories poured in.  Yes the rabbit hole would be to the right, but so would the path of mome raths.

“Have you decided what to do?” asked a voice from the tree branches.  She didn’t need to look up to know that the Cheshire cat was there.

“Hatter told me to leave,” she replied before shoving the bit of mushroom into her mouth.  She waited to see what would happen.  Nothing did.  “What the hell?” she exclaimed spitting out the foul tasting mass.

“Ah, Wonderland is dying.” Ches didn’t sound particularly upset.  “The Red Queen must have lost her head.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Wonderland is a balance of magic and mayhem.  The Red Queen was the source of the land’s magic.  If she is dead then the White Queen’s mayhem runs unchecked.” He climbed down from the tree and strolled toward her.  As he neared, Alice could see some of his “not there” was due to infection spreading through his body.

“Ches?  You seem to be – rotting.” She said backing away.

“Eh, well, we are all zombies here!” he laughed mirthlessly, his smile widening until his face started to crack.

Terror gave her feet wings, turning she ran down the path leading toward the rabbit hole. She should have remembered the path was lined with roots from the nearby trees.  She should have remembered Hatter’s terror at her mention of mome raths.  She didn’t remember either.

The toe of her shoe caught a root that crossed the path and sent her sprawling forward.  Her hands scrapped the ground, leaving them raw and painful.  Tears welled up in her eyes and she couldn’t stop them from rolling down her cheeks.  As the drops hit the ground, they grew and became puddles.  Soon she was surrounded by a moat of her tears.

A sound to her left, caused her to sit up quickly.  She watched as a small scantly haired creature, ran toward her, zombie mome rath.  Knowing there was no such thing as one mome rath, she scanned the forest for more.  Three more were dodging between trees, coming her way as well. As the four approached the edge of her small pond of tears, she wondered if this was it. 

“Mauled by zombie mome raths,” she sighed watching to see what they would do.

Dipping a leg in the water, the creature gave her a vicious smile. Bending its legs as if preparing to jump its expression turned from triumph to quizzical.  Looking down at the foot it had dunked, it stared down as the dirty sparse hair changed from a greyish puke color to yellow. 

Ches walked up behind the mome raths.  “What have you done, Alice?”

“I didn’t do anything,” she said defensively.

“You were crying,” he accused.

“Yes, but--“

“Then don’t say you didn’t do anything.  What were you crying about?”

She watched as each of the other mome raths ducked a foot into her tears. “I was just…I fell.”

“And that caused all this,” he asked, approaching the pool.  “There is more to this that you are not saying.  What were you thinking about when you fell?”

“I was scared and sad…mostly sad.  This is so awful!  Wonderland was such a miraculous place and now it is nothing but death and sorrow and it is horrible.  Okay!  Just horrible.”

Ches sniffed the pool.  “Ah yes, now I smell it – grief.”  Tilting his head, he looked up at her.  “You were grieving for Wonderland?  Why?”

“Because someone needs to.  Because it was special and perfect, but now it’s all gone.”  Tears were welling up in her eyes again, and as they fell they pushed the pool of water out further.  A small wave licked the Cheshire cat’s paw. 

A look of contentment came over his face and small sores on his paws healed before his eyes.  Taking a step forward he entered the water.  Kneeling in front of her, he bowed his head.  “My Queen,” he said.

“What!  What are you—“

“There you are little girl,” said the White King appearing on the path.

Ches spun around to face the monarch, the hair on his back spiking out.  “Run Alice,” he hissed

“No Ches, I can help him.”  Looking down the path she spoke to the King.  “I can help you.  My tears, my tears can heal Wonderland.”

“Heal Wonderland.  Why on would we want to heal Wonderland?  We have only just gotten it the way we want it,” the King laughed.

“What?” Alice couldn’t believe what the King was saying.  “You can’t want this?”

“Why wouldn’t we want this?  A chance to start fresh -- a chance to end the constant nonsense.  No Alice you don’t understand.  Between the mayhem and the magic, wonderland has always been a nightmare.  This is our chance to end the chaos and have a normal life.”

“Normal?  You’ll never be normal,” she yelled, trying to push herself up but found she was stuck in the mud her tears had created. 

“That may very well be.”  The king lowered his face mask and leveled his lance.  “But you’ll never know.”  The horse took a few steps back.  Beginning the charge, he yelled, “Checkmate Alice!” 


Word Count 3412

**I do not take credit for any of these characters. They are the amazing creations of Lewis Carroll aka Charles Lutwidge Dodgson,  This bit of chaos was written for "Poison Apple Theater"   by Glassboots .

***Note on the use of grenades: Hand grenades are one of the oldest weapons in the world – predating the invention of gun powder. The first grenades were used by soldiers in the Byzantine Empire, who threw ceramic jars filled with fire at their enemies. Grenades were also used by soldiers during the American Civil War – though they weighed more than five pounds and were lit with paper fuses. - Hand Grenades - One of the Oldest Weapons