Kaoru

It was a cold day in december as Kaoru walked home, alone for the first time in years. The street was lined with the normal shops and the normal people rushed by to get home out of the cold, but everything held the dull pain of remembrance behind the familiarity. As he looked up to the dark clouded sky, heavy with snow, he couldn't help but feel like everything was his fault. IF only he had shown up on time, if only he had just called, if only he had sent one of their friends instead of forgetting until it was too late. All the “if”s began to wear heavily on his mind, feeling like a boulder on his shoulders.

Unaware of where his feet had taken him, he suddenly realized he was walking down the river road lined with the dormant cherry blossom trees that had been “their place” during the spring and fall. Kaoru’s knees nearly buckled right then and there, knowing what was in the grove at the end of the road, but he forced himself to stay standing. He had been avoiding visiting since it had happened six months ago. HE should go see her. He should give her flowers, tell her he was sorry for all those “if”s he knew he couldn't fix now....

Flowers. Oh Lord, when was the last time he'd given her flowers? Not anytime in the last six months, that was for sure. Suddenly feeling such a pain in his chest, he couldn't help but let his knees collapse underneath him. His guilt was as heavy as the sky. He couldn't bear it any more. Picking himself up with a sob, he stumbled the rest of the way down the road to the circle grotto where he knew she had been waiting for him every day for the past six months.

As soon as he saw her, he broke down next to her, sobbing over and over again,” I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry... I’m sorry...” until his eyes finally grew heavy and his mind grew weary and blank. He finally just leaned back against a tree, whispering,“I’m sorry,” once more before falling into a deep sleep.

The next day the newspaper read a saddening tale of a man who had died of exposure next to his wife’s grave. He had shown no signs of any drug or alcohol use, but his health records had shown signs of mental delusions. The man, however, would now only know the peace of his wife’s forgiveness.