How Does One Romance?

While this is a true story, I have changed the names of people for privacy purposes. Also, I may seem like a bitch in this story, but it is because of my inexperience and fear with boys. Also, at our school the formal is like a prom for 8th graders.

Many girls dream of being loved by many boys. I used to be one of those girls. However, lately it seems like everything has changed - I am no longer the silly and immature diva that was too innocent, too hard to get. Everyone has a moment where they calm down and seduce up, whether they want it to happen or not. And when that moment starts, everything changes. Before you know it, you dream that you had never even started with any love life.

It all started with my friend Lucah. I had known him since third grade and he always seemed like a brother to me. Little did I know, he had been crushing on me for a long time. When he asked me to go to formal* with him over Snapchat, it seemed like a hurricane of emotions just tore me down. At first, I was extremely excited. I finally got asked out, I finally didn't feel as if I was too ugly to ever get a boyfriend. But then that excitement halted into fear.

How was I going to see him at formal? Would he go to my house? What was I going to tell my group of friends that I had originally planned on going with? Did I even want to date him? How could I say no in a nice way? Will he judge me? What if he finds out I cannot dance? What if I said yes and then ruined my chance of going with my real crush? I ended up saying that my mom wouldn't let me date anyone.

Speaking of my real crush, Daniel, I was certain that he would ask me to formal. I was absolutely heartbroken when he told me about how excited he was to ask out a girl named Alexandra. A girl who could cut half her face off with a knife and still be gorgeous. I made a poster with him, and as he told me about how nervous he was, I wished more than anything in the world that he'd one day feel the same about me. When I spoke to Alexandra, she told me that she had no intentions on going with Daniel to the formal, and asked me to please discourage him. Call me a bitch, but that made me extremely happy! For about five minutes. Then I realized that I had broken his heart, got him excited for nothing. But the outfit I was wearing unintentionally got someone else excited. But Nash's story is extremely complicated and I will tell you about that later.

When I figured out that my group of friends all had dates, I wanted to just take back Lucah, who by the way told me that he was suicidal and it is all my fault. Thank Apple for the block button. :) But that's not important. I really wanted to get asked out again, and I was feeling desperate and depressed all over again.

Jackson is just about the most hilarious person I have ever met, other than Shakeem, who also likes me, but luckily with Shakeem, that love reflects back. But I can never talk to him since we are on different teams. I'm getting off topic. Jackson is hilarious, sweet, and I love him like a brother. Like a brother. Emphasis on the brother. He was going to ask me to formal yesterday with a beautiful white rose, but the stem broke so he got too nervous. I asked Nash to please discourage him, so Nash did his best to discourage him but obviously did a crappy job, otherwise I wouldn't even be writing this.

When Jackson asked me out, he simply walked over to my table during class, asked me, and walked away, having me say "um" about a million times, and listen to Nash laughing his head off. Nash later told me that he tried to discourage him but he wouldn't listen. To be honest, I actually wouldn't mind going with Nash to the dance, just saying. Anyway, I later got a note from Jackson, saying that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever met, and that he would always love me and always be there for me. Now how am I suppose to decline him when he sends me something like that? I am going to ask to go as "just-friends". Also, for those of you male readers who have been friend zoned, girls don't do it because they don't want to have a relationship with you. They do it because they want to keep the one they currently have.

So what is the point of saying this other than letting it off my chest? Well, my mother always told me that one day, I'd wish boys would stop liking me, and I'd never really understood what she meant. But being asked out is a scary experience that leaves you crushed up (no pun intended) and frozen. You aren't going to be asked out by every guy you find attracted towards. However, those of you who want a boyfriend and need advice: I have a simple tip for you. Simply talk to every boy at school. You need to show every boy that they stand a chance with you, because boys discuss who they like with other boys. You will see results, I guarantee you. Never change who you are. Boys HATE that. Anyway I'm rambling on so cya :D