Rejected

         Lynn set in her office gazing out of the window. She could see Jackson Memorial Park in the distance. The sun made the grass look like shards of emeralds covering the ground. She saw a couple sitting on a bench. The woman had dark straight hair like her own, and the man set close to her with his arm resting behind her back. As Lynn stared intently at the couple, the woman's face started to look exactly like hers. She noticed too that the man's face was familiar. It was Joshua from the accounting office up stairs. He was gently stroking the Lynn look-a-like's hair and smiling at her. He leaned in close to whisper something in her ear...
         Lynn was startled by a knock on her office door. She suddenly realized where she was and quickly answered the knock. "Yes", she said.
         "Ms. Sharpe, you have a visitor. Should I send her in?" Rebecca, the office administrative assistant called out to her.
         "Yes, Rebecca that will be fine". A tall brown woman entered the room. Her face was round and soft. Her eyes where the same chestnut brown as Lynn's, and her smile revealed one dimple on the left side of her face. Lynn looked up to the frustration on the young woman's face. As the woman sat on the love seat across the room, Lynn began to pull her chair from under her desk.
         The woman began to speak in a rushed manner. She barely stopped to breathe. "Lynn, how are you? I know you weren't expecting to see me, but I just had to come talk to you. I don't know if I'm really ready. I mean I just don't know. Am I doing the right thing? Should I..."
         Lynn cut her off, "Stop this crazy rambling Mona. What's going on this time? I know good and well you're not questioning your engagement to Dominick again. This is the third time this week alone. What is the matter with you?"
         "Lynn maybe it's too soon. I feel like maybe I'm rushing things with him. How do I know if it's real?"
         "Okay, look Mona you've known Dominick for years now, and I know that you've actually only dated for a few months, but he's not a stranger. What's eating at you?" Lynn looked intently at her younger sister. Mona carried herself with such confidence that only a few people knew how insecure she really was. She always doubted her own decisions, but her poker face could fool the masses. The only person that ever really understood the mask that Mona whore was Lynn.
         "I met with the wedding planner today and she urged me to decide on a date."
         "I would think so. The woman can't plan without a date!" Mona said with a slight hint of sarcasm in her voice. She got up from her desk chair and calmly walked over to her sister. Putting her hand on Mona's shoulder, she sat next to her. Slowly she said, "Mona...Do you love Dominick?"
         "Yes...I mean at least I think I do."
         "Well, what makes you feel like you love him?"
         "I don't know; my heart just needs him. I wake up thinking about him, and every decision I make is no longer just about me. I want to make him happy. And girl you know me...all my life I've just been trying to do what's best for me. But now I don't even care about the stupid stuff I used to. Lynn, I can't even picture life without Dominick now." Mona's eyes were shining as she spoke about her fiancé Lynn set back on the loveseat and basked in the warmth of her sister's glow. Lynn could feel her soul longing for what her sister was describing. Had she ever felt like that? Would she ever know this emotion?
         Mona got close to her sister and rested her head on her shoulder. She breathed in the flowery smell of Lynn's perfume. Lynn put her arm around her little sister, just like they were children and Mona had been frighten by a thunder storm.
         "You love this man and you know it. Stop questioning that Mona. Don't let your fears stop you from having the happiness you deserve."
         "I love you Lynette. What would I do without a big sis like you?--I will marry him. How does a fall wedding sound to you? I'm thinking the end of September...that will give me enough time to plan."
         "Sounds good to me."
         "Great I'll check with Dominick about a specific day and we'll announce it this Sunday at the engagement party."
"Good...I'm glad you feel better, but promise me, no more of this craziness. You can't keep taking me through this nightmare every week!" She pretended to be upset and pushed her sister off her. She got up from the loveseat, and pulled Mona by the arms lifting her from the chair. They hugged and laughed together.
         Mona said with a shaky voice, "I promise, no more. At least this week...I'll shoot for the month, but you know how crazy I get when I have to make huge, life changing decisions. Alright, I've taken up more of your time then necessary, and I still have to go into work tonight myself. I'm going home to try get some sleep. You coming by the house when you get off?"
         "I'll try...I really need to go to the gym today. It's been almost two weeks since I've been. But tell Mom to call me if she needs me."
         "Alright girl. Thanks so much for being the sane one." She squeezed her sister's full waist and turned to walk out of the office. Lynn felt tears welling in her eyes as she waved good-bye to her.
         She always felt like it was her job to protect and encourage Mona. Mona had the outer beauty to get anything she wanted, but her fears would sometimes hold her back. From the moment the four-year old Lynette held Mona's new born frame, she wanted to keep Mona from any harm that the world could bring. She would guard her from paly ground bullies, and rebuild her self-esteem after encounters with teenage mean girls. She wanted Mona to have the confidence that she lacked. It made her happy to see Mona float through life confident and happy, and saddened her when she saw self-doubt creep into her sister. Doubting was her job, and she did it like it paid well.
         Lynn was so absorbed in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed that Joshua was standing at her office entry way. He was waiting for her to give him a nod of approval before entering the office. After a while he decided to tap on the door to get her attention. She jumped at the sound.
         "I'm sorry if I startled you. You looked like you had a lot running through your mind just then", he said in his smooth deep voice.
         "I did, but it's no problem."
         "I'm finished with the Morrison account. After you've had a chance to get familiar with it, you can call them in for our final consultation."
         "Wow...that was fast. I just gave it to you yesterday."
         "Well you know how I do. Have you had lunch already? I was thinking about heading to Joey's for a slice of pizza in about 20. Would you like to come?"
         "Pizza? Is that all they serve?"
         "Oh I get it. A diet right?" Mona nodded to affirm. "They serve really good sandwiches and salads too," he replied.
         "Okay, I guess I can find something on the menu that won't set me back. I'll meet you downstairs in 20 minutes." Mona tried hard to hide the school girl joy that bubbling inside her.
         Mona hesitated on the last step to the first floor lobby. She saw Joshua standing with his back to the stair case. She breathed in a deep breath in order to calm her nerves. As she walked towards him, she noticed that no one else was in the lobby. Normally others would be joining them for lunch, but Joshua didn't seem to be expecting anyone else.
         "Hope I didn't keep you waiting. Who else is coming?"
         "It's just you and I today; couldn't get anyone else to come. Is that alright?"
         "Sure...if you don't mind the boring company." She didn't know why she said that. It just slipped out as negativity always seemed to do.
         "There is nothing boring about you; I always enjoy your company." Was he flirting with her? She could never really be sure with Josh. He was always pleasant, and he was always seemed to want her around. Maybe he was just being nice. How could a man like him be interested in her? He was a success at his career, he had a personality that attracted all sorts of people to him, and he was handsome. He wasn't the best looking man she had ever seen, but he was traditionally handsome. He was tall, looked to be in his middle 30s, and had skin that compared to a cup of coffee that was half coffee and half cream. He was always neat in his appearance. He didn't have children. He had his own home, and a nice car. His list of pros just seemed to keep adding up. Could he really be attracted to her, or was she just being silly?
         After settling into a small table by the side window of the restaurant, they ordered drinks--water for Lynn and a sweet tea for Josh. They discussed the menu and quickly made their selections. Lynn would have the Italian salad with dressing on the side, and Josh would have two slices of supreme pizza. When the food arrived, they had a pleasant conversation about work and future career plans as they ate. Lynn could feel his eyes intently on her throughout the entire conversation. She could feel a natural pull between the two of them; maybe the attraction was not a figment of her imagination.
         When it was time to leave the restaurant and head back to work, the two walked the three block distance at a pace that allowed them to enjoy the warmth of the early spring afternoon. Lynn could feel Josh's arm brushing against her with every step. There was no real need for him to be so close, but Lynn wasn't going to move from her position to ruin the moment.
         "Lynn, I know this is none of my business, but are you single or in a relationship?" he asked without ever giving her eye contact.
         "I'm as single as they come."
         "That's unbelievable. You are such a catch and no one has scooped you up yet?"
"Well, I guess I'm the fish they always throw back." She let out a little chuckle with her last comment. They reached their office building, and Josh held the door for Lynn to enter.
"The real problem is that the right fisherman just hasn't come along yet," he said smiling at her. A flush of heat passed through her body as she passed between him and the doorway. "I would go up the stairs with you, but I have to head over to see Mr. Clayton for a bit. Enjoy the rest of your day," he said as he slowly turned to head the other direction.
"You too!" Lynn couldn't help but smile. The last time she ever met someone as interesting as Joshua it ended in massive heart ache. So for the past five years, she had been trying to rebuild her self-esteem and desire to reach out again. Did she really have a chance with Josh?
At 5:00 Lynn saved her last file to the computer and began to prepare to leave for the evening. As she was packing her brief case for the weekend, her office phone rang.
"Lynette Allen speaking. How may I help you?"
"Hey Lynn it's Josh; I wanted to ask you something earlier but didn't have the courage."
"Okay, what's up?" She wasn't exactly how to feel.
"Are you going to be busy this Sunday afternoon? A friend of mine is have a little get together and I thought it would be nice if you there to keep me company."
"Umm...I would love to, but my sister is having her engagement party this Sunday. I'm sorry."
"It's all good it's last minute anyway. I just got a text from him inviting me over right before we went to lunch. As we were talking, I started thinking about how nice it would be if you were there with me."
"Really? That's sweet that you would want me to be there with you."
"I already told you, I enjoy your company...maybe some other time then. Have a great time at your party. I'll see you Monday."
"Yeah same to you." Lynn hung up the phone. She sat on the edge of her desk thinking about what had just happened. Josh had just asked her out on a date. The attraction she felt was mutual; it wasn't in her imagination. For as long as she could remember, she always doubted whether or not a man really liked her. She just thought they were being nice or thought she was the funny girl that made a great friend. Never in a million years would she have thought that Josh would want her with all the women he had to choose from. Maybe there would be a next time, or may he would meet a beautiful woman at the party and forget all about her. She would just have to wait and see.
Sunday morning Lynn woke up and headed for her parents' home. The drive to the other side of town always made Lynn feel warm inside. She loved her family. She loved the unity they always shared, which made her feel confident. In time she pulled in to her parents' drive way. The house was a brick ranch style home. They had bought the house when she was a preteen. It was a huge part of most of her memories. It wasn't a big house, but it was nice. It had three bedrooms and a large yard that was the pride of her father. She could see her father pruning some bushes in the front yard as she put her car in park.
"Hey daddy!" She waved to her father after getting out of her car. "The yard looks great!"
"Thanks Hun...the girls are inside going crazy about something in there. See if you can talk some sense into." The two shared a laugh as Lynn opened the door to enter her parents' home. She could smell the food and her mom and sister loudly talking about something. She walked towards their voices and found them in Mona's room rummaging through her closet.
"I can't see what's wrong with the first outfit you showed me. Girl you are getting on my nerves." Mrs. Allen was frustratingly picking up clothes from the floor as Mona continued to toss them out her closet.
"Hey you two", Lynn calmly said as she entered the room.
"Thank God, I'm about to kill this girl. You take over; I can't take anymore. She's acting like bridezilla and we're months away from her walking her butt down the aisle." Mrs. Allen shoved Mona's clothes in her Lynn's arms, kissed her on the cheek, and