Grief and Loss, A Time to Breathe

I wanted to take a different approach to writing this article. Given the subject matter contents, which is challenging enough in our field to work with, but even harder when we have to encounter the news when it broaches what we call a sentinel event, or simply put, when one of our member’s dies as a result of suicide, it can impact and permeate our own boundaries on coping adaptively.
How do we handle grief? I know that I tend to bury myself in more work and often use humor to cope. I can also recognize the importance on how everyone requires time to take in the news, even therapists. Grief, no matter how the information comes to us, requires a period of adjustment and recovery. Is there anything “practical” we can do to get through this most difficult time? As a matter of a fact, yes, there is something, many things we can do, but may not in fact take the necessary time to decompress in order to get through that in order to find our center.
First and foremost, what I learned is that we are not in this alone and need to reach out to our colleagues, supervisors, and take the time to talk about the event. You just never know how many people are there for you until you take the time to call someone and let them know how you are. Why? Because, first of all, if you are not alone and chances are you are not, there are others that feel very parallel to what you are feeling and there is that level of identification. Also, having that added support really brings a soothing feeling that I noticed when speaking to my peers. I really can’t say enough about the support and help that was there for me during this time.
Talking about the matter, having that support, expressing our emotions is what begins the healing process.
1. Try to maintain a schedule. Doing this keeps a routine going and your body in grounded. That helps you also maintain focus.
2. Release tension through crying, exercise, physical activity, and walking.
3. Listen to our bodies and our emotions. What do our feelings say to us?
4. Avoid behaviors that cause or lead to escapism or numbing pain or not talking about what happened. That just stuffs feelings and can delay grief.
5. Consider counseling, or talk to someone to gain perspective as to if this needs to be talked about with someone. How we manage and process loss is an everyday, moment, emotional aspect of our existence. That can be positive and how we think, feel, and perceive the world around us has a lot to do with our ability to function and take care of ourselves based on what we believe about our ability to cope. How do we see ourselves doing that and what are our coping reserves.
6. Don’t second guess your skills, folks. Think about this statement because doing this will lead to a downward spiral. Be confident and know your strengths!
7. State positive affirmations daily and map out your day with positive words that reflect positive energy and thoughts.

You are in control of how you choose to think, feel, and how you believe manage your grief. You can also choose to let people help you reduce the pain and allow supportive and functional, adaptive changes fill your life.
What do you want to happen next?