Dread

You look so empty but you are drawing me in. The day has come where you will surround and cover me. Is this blissful happiness reserved solely for us? Can't you offer some compassion for the many eyes looking on in trust? Fate from here on out is changed. A fresh test to battle the urge to succumb into nothingness. I do not blame anyone in distress, or hold them accountable if they feel depressed. But it's not my fault this happened.

Explain to us then, what are we to do as the pictures we love dissipate? Why are we not allowed to place the shame far away from us? How can we blame anyone but you? The ashes of memories are attacking so many of us, but I know that's your intent and I can feel you believe it to be your purpose. I wish your voice was in the room with theirs but alas, you are so far behind. These heartfelt sorrows expressed echo endlessly around us. I think that it's best, that I ignore every sound that brings sorrow to the surface. All whimpers are kept inside. The failure to release them is just another thing I must keep alive in the divide.

Will they always resent me because I am the fortunate one here? Does anyone even cherish the treasure we held together? I am sorry for all of you that hold radical emotions without the ability to find outlets for it. I wish I could help you through it but I do not feel anything anymore. I can't be the only one with eyes that pierce through the sun, so I plead with you to hold onto hope. One day you will find someone who will stay with you when new shadows hover around the room.


Keep one eye fixed on the rope to the surface. Still pursue your dreams for you always have a way out. Fight to open your eyes a little bit at a time. So many more people deserve answers and so many more are cheated out of seeing the end to their trials. Yet I realize words are futile when facing a trial such as this. I will stay here with you and listen intently for a voice. I promise I will not leave this place. I am here for the moment when time stops and you are ready to grieve.

Months pass and the burden multiplies. How much longer will you torture me with the echo of your heart? Every pulse reminds me that it brings you another breath which you use to manipulate sorrow to always puncture and never heal. Why must you leap to secure it away from the world? If you worry about destiny, you must discover the escape soon before the pieces become seeds that grow into deep rooted trees. I will no longer watch if resentment shows itself at the surface. Are you breaking everything to punish me? Your dreams are illusions now, oblivion is clearer than happiness. It hurts me so much that you would do such a thing just to prove that I was wrong. I am sticking around not knowing if you will survive in one piece. I am beginning to think you hate me. Please do not despise me forever.

The drawn out silence is the worst part. I wish we were both ignorant of the time we spent together. Perhaps then I could sleep through the night and you would no longer torture yourself with old misery.

A flash followed by deafening thunder creates a blaze of fire all around me. Despite it all I sit still and listen. Words were being whispered. How foreign your voice sounds to me now.

"I forgive you for leaving me. I am beginning to forgive myself. I will visit here more often, it has just been really hard for all of us you know? Emily is taking good care of me. Thank you for that blessing. Sleep peacefully, my friend."

Finally, I can rest. I knew you would pass the test. A flower springs forth next to the tombstone. I am not alone. The coffin finally feels like home.


The End.