Once

~ Once~
A shot monologue about a broken heart.

Michelle:
Jeanne, I promise things will be normal in the end. Things will be happy for you, I know they will.

Jeanne:
Yes, but, I don't think it will ever be the same, Michelle.

He looks at me with hate, unlike the love that once was. It's like he himself is lost, in his own way and world. I myself am no longer wrapped in the soothing embrace he held me in. Like broken glass has cut into my heart. To pull it out would be fatal, but to leave in would only cause more harm. Whatever shall I do? I cannot look into his eyes; those that shine like the blue of the sky with the glittering of a lake as the sun rises. To even sense a hint of his musk would pierce my heart as the same. Yet it is the only thing that would be able to stop the quivering of my nerves when the cool wind blows in from the windows, traveling throughout the halls. But because of my one mistake, I can never again have that comfort. Michelle it hurts so badly; not many would understand at all. To have that seemingly perfect fitting puzzle piece ripped away, your fingers grasping at thin air as you reach out for the impossible. The nightmares are what makes this so horrific. His person taunts me as I feel the envy radiating off of my being when I awaken, the fact that I can no longer see him being what makes me so resentful. Like demons, the shadows pull me into a false reality.

Everyone has repeatedly told me to let go, to let this vision fade into nothing. Maybe it's my stupidity, maybe it's what we did, I'm not very sure, but I've tried. There isn't words to tell you exactly what I tried to do to let go. When I attempt to tell people this, they blame my immaturity and a false reality. But what if it wasn't? What if, what they believe isn't really true? How would they know what happened in the past? What I felt, or rather, do feel? Is it really false? It most certainly doesn't feel false. If it wasn't true, I wouldn't still be waking up from my night-terrors, I wouldn't daze off thinking he's here beside me, and when I was ill I definitely wouldn't have imagined he was there and reached out, thinking he'd catch me before I fell to the floor in agony from not only my shattered heart, but my light-headedness from the cold sweat.

I can no longer do anything though, time will tell when I forget. But like Veronica said, a love this deep won't have so easily erased memories.