I Did it

What was I thinking? Sitting in some shitty little wooden chair, creaking as if praying to break. Bending over with my elbows at rest on my knees, I hold a red cup in hand half empty of some nasty liquid intended to give me a "good time"; or is it half full perhaps? I look up and among all of the dicks wearing their skin tight shirts and assholes in flannel, I see her.

My eyes widen, pupils dilate, I get that memorable itch on my left arm. She turns and makes a single glance of eye contact with me, out of shock; I grow a fearful face and quickly turn back down to my red cup, using the hoodie of my jacket to block her out of my vision. Questions begin to roam in my head. Why her? How could i make this happen? Did i just ruin my chance? Why look at ME? Will i do it?

Then I hear it, the ever so faint and casual "hey" from a voice i knew too well, as if all of the music and chatter of this crappy college party dimmed down just so I could hear it. I look up, to see her and nothing but her as she gives me that half smile looking down at me. very swiftly, she extends her hand to me, expecting me to flaw her perfect skin with a touch. I feel frozen, trapped in a block of ice, only able to stare up at her in awe. My arm is than grabbed so tenderly as she leads me off of this chair, out of this corner.

Walking past thirty people perhaps heading upstairs, but i don't see them, I can only look at her while she leads me to a room where we could be alone. I suddenly remember my red cup, it wasn't in my hand anymore. I must have dropped it while in trance of her ever so angelic charm. While we walk into the bedroom, I know there is no turning back on what i know i have to do as she locks the door. My heart begins to pound as i'm moments away, no; seconds away.

She stands at the bed looking at me as if asking me to take her away from this world. To another place, a better place. "Take me to heaven", Oh god, she is practically begging me! My mind becomes blurry as i tackle her onto the bed. Unable to think, I begin to stroke her face while i pull out my favorite 2 inch pocketknife from my right pocket. I quickly put my hand over her mouth and get extremely close to her head with mine so it can be my little surprise.

I ever so gently put the edge of my knife against the right side of her throat, and watch in Ecstasy as her eyes grow wide for fear of her life! I can't help but to smile so stupidly wide as i slowly go from one side of her throat to the next. A silent muffled scream comes from her for a few seconds before she begins to choke from the blood in her lungs. Her eyes dilate as she begins to fade away into that better place she asked me to take her to, away from here...forever.

I sit up to a sight of blood slowly oozing down both sides of her neck like paint as she lays there ascended from her lowly form. I casually clean the knife and put it back in my pocket, put a blanket over her to look as if she is sleeping, and go home from the party. I hear the sirens hauling towards the house i walk home under the moon and begin to itch my left arm. Get home, my room, then the bed. I did it...and never slept better than i did that night.