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Rated: ASR · Short Story · Nonsense · #2062721
A surreal humorous tale.
One day, to which was given the name of “Just another day”, the insatiable greed of King Oliver Revilo, who nursed hatred, created the suspicion of a super deception.
On the other end of this tale there was Yolo Pepperoni, the impolite fisherman. Yolo at this time was living a trifling life, in a nest on top of a tall tree. The food he was eating was strangely imported, and sometime it was also available in an unexpired fashion.
His occupation was to made and to currently make people laugh, and to the king this wasn't enough to make a living; Yolo Pepperoni, in fact, more often than not, used to work in disguise.

Now, the government workers, in order to separate the ones that use disguise from everybody else, grabbed their Spanish swords and with detailed precision cut the offenders in many dwarfs, just like the ones from the fairy tales.
In the meantime, Yolo armed himself with a tape measurement ready to wear a very popular coat: the Pauso! The frame of the front of his house was about to give in, so, it was clearly time to vacate that crappie place. Quickly, but not as fast as he could, he started to march with a fluent walking manner; after a brief moment an oppressing boredom took over him, so much so that he didn't want to continue.

Luckily, he happened to step on a fresh coyote poop at the right time, making him believe it was a good sign.

Yolo took a shopping cart and enjoyed that moment. In the meantime, signs of agreement were exchanged between King Oliver and his troops. He was definitely getting closer to Yolo Pepperoni.
The king was a good swordsman, even though was always aided by a prompter. During training, Oliver Revilo bumped his knee really
hard. From that action, some light friction arose between the soldiers and their boss, when all of a sudden a noise from the distance distracted them from that argument: it was the sound of Yolo swallowing a sardine. He knew now that a sport trial was waiting for him. But which one? Was it maybe a walk for exercise? Or was it a fight with no underpants on!? While he was asking himself those questions, the king met him with an ugly face.
He hit him first with a hard rod. Yolo Pepperoni remained
motionless, but his cap, minus the visor, was laying on the ground;
he was afraid that this challenge would turn into a brawl among
rascals. But it didn't...given the fact that your majesty had just
grasped a decaliter ready to strike Yolo in broad day light. However,
he did not do it in time, because, just like the quick release of a
spring, a policeman style club (the fisherman was carrying it at all
times), was directed towards the king; the latter, making various
slow motion facial expressions, blocked the attack with his face.

During all this the soldiers were seated, waiting for some kind of outcome; one of them saw that King Oliver was reflecting his image into one of the horseman's trumpet. Strain to see even more details, he finds a black opening inside the king's hat. To draw the sovereign's attention he threw a brick at him (the brick was hanging from the right arm of a puppet); instead of the king, the heavy stone hit a boy on a bicycle that was passing through, pointing out a patch on his left elbow.

The soldier that caused all of this was not able to rebel in a nice way, so, he decided to unfasten one of his shoulder pad from his army coat and made the king notice at full voice his act. But the king and Yolo were not at all engaged in a ridiculous fight, so to
make a perfect audio reception possible, the soldier in question flew off the handle and shun in the sky giving out a blazing glow.
It was a show that made everyone feel extremely agitated; Yolo Pepperoni took advantage of the rare phenomena and sneaked with naturalness trying to escape on a raft.

Although the king had a very clear idea on how to nab the fisherman one more time, that stunt was enough for him to bear a grudge; therefore, his revenge that was about to come true, was delayed a little and everybody were ready to go the fuck home.
The soldiers had 80 horses each, and with three of them they could have packaged a new one of the same dimensions of the original; every day the king rides the same number of horses and the soldiers use as many. If the King Oliver Revilo can ride for 17 days straight with those 80 horses, how much time can he ride without any problems?
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