Resurrection Jukebox 2015 Day 8

I know I'm supposed to blog tonight, but I'm not sure what's going to come out. All day long, I've been angry. I was angry that we were having a dinner guest I hadn't really invited, and angry again when she didn't show up. I was upset with my son when he tried to joke about something. I told him that really, really, really isn't funny right now. I got angry over dinner because I was tired of the things my husband and son were discussing. I'm angry now and I know it's unreasonable. I want to know what's really bothering me tonight, but it's eluding me. There must be a reason, a cause, something I can point to and say " That's my problem. Now I can fix it." It seems that I feel taken advantage of, though. Not that's it's a real problem, but my feelings are real. I was reviewing old injuries today. How I was treated badly---no exaggeration--- by people from my past, and dwelling on my relationship with my sisters, which can be uncomfortable, to say the least. I want to feel injured. If I am the victim, all my actions are justified. If my actions are justified, I Win. I want to win, to be important, to be noticed, to matter.

This is an old problem and many would say I possess low self-esteem. Well yeah. This is not news; I've known this for a long time. But what do I do about it? Well, at least I know part of the problem now. I want control, I want validation, I want to feel like what I do makes a difference for someone. Perhaps I can take all this mental energy and find it a proper outlet, a healthy one.

This really doesn't have anything with the song I chose. But perhaps we all experience emotional fevers and maybe today is one of mine. Special thanks to COWser for faithfully reading my ramblings.




Never know how much I love you
Never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me
I get a fever that's so hard to bear
You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever in the mornin'
A fever all through the night

Sun lights up the day time
Moon lights up the night
I light up when you call my name
And you know I'm gonna treat you right
You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever in the mornin'
A fever all through the night

Everybody's got the fever
That is somethin' you all know
Fever isn't such a new thing
Fever started long time ago

Romeo loved Juliet
Juliet she felt the same
When he put his arms around her
He said, "Julie baby you're my flame"
Thou giveth fever, when we kisseth
Fever with thy flaming youth
Fever I'm on fire
Fever yea I burn forsooth

Captain Smith and Pocahontas
Had a very mad affair
When her daddy tried to kill him
She said "daddy oh don't you dare"
"He givess me fever with his kisses"
"Fever when he holds me tight"
"Fever, I'm his misses"
"Daddy won't you treat him right?"

Now you've listened to my story
Here's the point that I have made
Chicks were born to give you fever
Be it Fahrenheit or centigrade
They give you fever when you kiss them
Fever if you live and learn
Fever till you sizzle
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn

Read more: Peggy Lee - Fever Lyrics | MetroLyrics