Still Waters Run Deep

Still Waters Run Deep

         The term introvert originated in 1654 from the Latin. intro- "inward" + vertere "to turn." The noun (opposed to

extrovert) is from 1918, introduced by the psychologist C.G. Jung and is defined as a person characterized by concern

primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings. With such a vague, bland, description, and the introvert’s propensity

for solitude and self-reflection, it is no wonder they are so misunderstood. Introversion is an orientation, not an

affliction, and there is as much societal bias and intolerance against introverts as there is toward homosexuality.

         That “loner” keeping to themselves not engaged in conversation is not necessarily shy, timid, or even anti-social,

all too common misperceptions, they are simply taking in and processing everything that is going on. Perhaps they are

admiring the architecture or fascinated by whatever group dynamic happens to be at play. They could even be lost in a

memory triggered by something they saw or heard because they are completely bored with chit chat and small talk.

There is also a good chance a well-meaning friend or loved one dragged them kicking and screaming because “You

spend too much time alone,” or “You need to get out more;” actually, they do not. For the most part, introverts have just

one primary relationship, and maybe a few close family members or friends. Introverts can and do enjoy the company of

others, just in very, very, small doses.

         Society in general seems to dismiss introverts, who make up 20 to 30 percent of the population, as morose and

misanthropic individuals who just “need to come out of their shell.” They are described with words such as guarded,

aloof, loner, reserved, private, and hermit -- narrow, egocentric words, suggestive of emotional stinginess or lack of

personality. Nothing could be further from the truth. They are usually our best and brightest. Albert Einstein, Eleanore

Roosvelt, J.K. Rowling, Budda, Sir Issaic Newton, Steve Wozniak, Michael Jackson, Steven Speilberg, Tom Hanks, Bill

Gates, Audry Hepburn, Budda, and even Jesus, who certainly cannot be accused of being misanthropic or shy, were all

introverts.

         In stark contrast, extroverts, making up 60 to 70 percent of the population, are usually described as outgoing,

gregarious, fun, popular, open, and people persons. For an extrovert, any time and every time is a fine time to socialize

and chat. They assume that company, especially their own, is always a welcome boost, and they cannot imagine why

someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take offence at the suggestion. Though this is not to say that

extraverts never engage in self-reflection or even sometimes require periods of solitude themselves, just in much smaller

quantities.

         For the long-suffering introvert stuck in an extroverted society where everyone is encouraged to be open and

gregarious and outgoing in order to “Win Friends and Influence People” time alone is not only welcome, but essential.

They are depleted and drained by too much external stimulation and thrive on solitude and reflection. There is even

speculation that introversion falls under the autism spectrum as there are many similarities between introverts and those

with Asperger’s.

         As stated by Laurie Helgoe, Ph.d in an article from Psychology Today, “Solitude, quite literally, allows

introverts to hear themselves think. In a classic series of studies, researchers mapped brain electrical activity in

introverts and extraverts. The introverts all had higher levels of electrical activity—indicating greater cortical

arousal—whether in a resting state or engaged in challenging cognitive tasks.” She goes on to state that introverts have

more activity and blood flow to the areas of the brain that require inward focus and attention and are responsible for

remembering, planning, decision making, problem solving, and even speech production, which reflects the capacity for

internal dialog.

         With such a polarity of personality types, it is surprising that the introvert-extrovert dynamic in relationships can

work out extremely well. For the introvert, the companionship of an extrovert can be very beneficial. The extroverted

partner is like a shield for the introvert in social settings, and as long the joys of socialization are not denied the extrovert,

their relationship can become deep, rich, meaningful and long lasting.

         One personality type is no better than the other. Extroverts and introverts each have a unique perspective, and it

is never a good idea to try to force anyone into one box or another. However, extroverts, and society in general, should

try to remember that just because someone may be sitting quietly it does not mean they are shy, afraid, aloof, or even

anti-social. Still waters run deep. More than likely they are swimming in an ocean of imagination and insight.