Dreaming of You

Last week, I had Googled my grandfather to find out that I had missed his funeral and hadn't been notified by anyone. I'm blowing off some steam...



I thought of you
Not long ago
How we sat
When you were big
And I was small

I wasn't small for long
You weren't patient for long
Your hugs were always there
Somehow empty in their strength

You were a figure
In the background
At a raucous celebration
Always watching, always taking it in

They all got in the way
With their needing and wanting
Expecting and asking
Requesting then demanding of me

I turned away, used too many times
There was nothing left for me to give
Like a tree, that famous tree
Although I no longer felt the same

She kept giving after he took it all
I turned away so there was something left of me
They all looked for me
Now that I wasn't there

Nobody cared, nobody cared
Nobody cared when you were ill
Nobody told me then you were no more

I will forever be the villain of the story
Having stood up for myself
Not taking their drama
Not wanting their demands

You are the one that lost out
Lost out on a granddaughter
Lost out on a friend
Lost out on my life

You will be missed