I am looking for feedback on flow and imagery. I am concerned about my syllable counts. |
Do you feel the chatter in your brain? The noise of others the root of your pain Do you feel how they pull at your heart? These thoughts of others that tear you apart Do you feel how your light dims? Each time they criticize insult on a whim Do you feel how your teeth grind? When memories return of moments unkind Do you feel how you hesitate? After your excitement is crushed by critics that hate Do you feel like you anymore? After so many broke in and chipped at your core Do you feel the chatter in your brain? The noise of others the root of your pain ***************************************** Have you been the chatter? In the minds of those that matter Have you been the cause of pain? That left someone feeling insane Have you been the unkind one? Who laughed at them poking fun Have you been the critic, the mole? That tore apart their dreams digging deep in their soul Have you been the ugly one? That excluded someone others had shunned Have you been the selectively blind? Passing by those in need unhelpful, unkind Have you been the chatter? In the minds of those that matter Copyrighted, 2015 by Iva |