Acceptance

Many people are familiar with the serenity prayer, " God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." There is however a variation on that theme when it comes to accepting others and maintaining relationships.

There are people in our lives that do things we wish they wouldn't. Things that make us angry, resentful or impatient with them. These are often people we love or have built strong relationships with. People we wish we could change. People who may be doing things that are harmful to themselves or others. The truth of the matter is we can't change other people.
We either have to accept them for who they are or leave them alone.

I love my sister and I know she loves me. We have a good relationship, but there are times when I wish she wouldn't work so hard. I worry about her. I want her to get her rest and take better care of herself, but she just keeps going and going like the eveready bunny. I have learned its best not to say anything when she complains about how tired she is, I just let her vent. She is the type of person that has to stay busy to keep her mind off of the things that really bother her. She does not want to feel dependent on others, but carries the weight of the world on her shoulders.

I have learned that in order to maintain and build a relationship with my sister I have to step back and allow her to be herself. I can be supportive when she allows me to be and I can be there when she vents, but I can't tell here to stop. I have to accept the fact that she is a work-a-holic and I have to accept the fact that its her life and she has the right to live it the way she wants. Its not up to me to try to change her, its up to me to love and support her. The only person I can change is me.