Advent Adventure Dec. 4

Four Questions:

1. How do YOU feel about the material presented today?

2. Have YOU ever had a similar experience to the one being discussed today?

3. What new insights have YOU gained as a result of participating today?

4. In what ways, if any, do YOU feel challenged to respond, or to act as a result of today's activity?

Five Lives

1. The physical life.

2. The mental life.

3. The emotional life.

4. The financial life.

5. The spiritual life.


I thought about what adversity to use and realized I had a great contender. So...

I was engaged to my husband. His mother was both crazy and controlling. Since we were about to marry, she took every chance to manage us, expecting us to stay for every meal, manipulating our friends to bring us back to the house, etc. I just put up with it and said "no thanks" frequently. One night she wanted us to stay for dinner, but we had plans to eat out. She said, " I'm making meatloaf. It's good, not like your mother makes." I was furious. We left and I fumed, debating whether to tell her off or not. Several hours later, we returned to the house, and I lit into her. I began with " Look, b***h" and it went downhill from there. She was irate. I wasn't buying her attitude or tricks. She told me to get out of her house. I said fine. We didn't speak for a month. I refused to apologize. My husband, Whiskey did ask me to. Nope. So, after a month of this, she realized I wasn't backing down, Planned to get married with or without her there, and she had better apologize.


I think the primary life there is emotional. I can tolerate a lot, but NEVER attack my family. She attacked my mum. Unacceptable! I was angry, I was tired of her controlling and insulting behavior, and she had crossed a line. So, emotionally was probably my main life. Refusing to follow her unwritten rules( she is never wrong, doesn't apologize, cannot be cursed at, and orders to get out of her house result in tears and begging) was probably much of the emotional fallout.

Physical: well, I'm sure my blood pressure went up and I got red in the face, but that's it. Mentally I knew giving in would just lead to more giving in, so I didn't. Financially, I can't think of anything. Maybe we ate out a little more. Spiritual. I don't know. While the fight was prominent, there were a lot of other things going on at that time. I did attend a premarital counseling group that month, but that was it. The wedding needed planning, Whiskey was in grad school, and it's blurry.

I survived simply by not backing down. She already had a son-in-law who kowtowed to her and wound up as her lackey. I wasn't going there. When she realized I wasn't accepting her behavior, she changed her attitude towards me. That's really it; I just waited.