Lets get to the Point

Before I begin, I would like to apologize.
You will not see my way and you will show me resentment,
Hostility most likely when you glance at my words on a page.
I do not mean them to cause you anger,
It is not that I wish to start a fight.
I do not want the drama, I do not want the anger.
But as much as I do not want all of those things,
I really do not need to feel small, unimportant,
Unloved, and left behind day after day.
Where anything related to me, is of the least importance to you.
You see this is where you go off now,
About how for time you had been there for me.
Yes this is very true, and I was a mess.
My life fell apart and I was so lost in the darkness and I was atrocious to you.
I know all of these things and I never said you weren’t,
Not once.

What I am saying is that I will not go from being your prize,
The love of your life, your soul mate and your better half.
To this.
I currently find myself undefinable in regards to you and me.
You say it yourself, you have had me forever on a pedestal.
High above everyone and everything else.
Which just means I fell that much harder really.
I went from a love that was strong and unconditional,
To having a loving strong man by my side,
Showing me constantly, showing everyone else too,
Just how much I meant to him and just how much I was loved by him.
To a booty call, where you come and go as you please,
Where I am now a secret to be hidden away.
Where I am nothing more than an hour or two,
A couple of times a week.
Meanwhile, you keep tabs on me, and know my every move.
I know your every move, and wish I didn’t.
I hear about you and her going around town together,
I have heard about times you have had sex with her,
Which, may I add felt like I had drank fire,
While 500 knives stabbed my heart,
As a thousand more stabbed my back.

I know what I did, and I know the fault lay on me.
But this doesn’t mean that I deserve to be some other woman,
Among many you where you come and go as you please.
Where you yell at me for not telling you things,
And then leave before I even get the chance to tell you.
I will not just be hidden phone calls, away from ears,
I will not be a quieted subject.
I will not be the few hours where her phone calls aren’t answered,
Where you then lie about your whereabouts.
I will not just be here when you want me to be.
I will not share my love for you.

I will love you to the end of my days,
And given the chance, I would spend the rest of my life with you.
I would fight for me, I would fight even harder for you.
I would believe in our live till the day I took my last breath.
I would fall asleep in your arms every night,
And I wish I would wake up every morning with you holding me.
I would do your laundry, make your lunch, make your dinner.
I would laugh with you and cry with you.
I would hug you when you needed it.
And I would fuck you whenever and however you wanted to.
Like we used to do.
I would love you unconditionally and that would never ever change.
I would put you high above everyone else,
And I would only have eyes for you.
I do not want anyone else near but you,
I didn’t yesterday, I don’t today and I wont tomorrow.
I would try to fix myself for you,
So that how I acted would never happen again,
So that I would never hurt you again.

I was the best friend,
I was the love of your life,
I was the reason you would try for a better life just a short time ago.

All of that seems to be gone though,
As you go around with others,
Showing me, that unlike myself you want to touch and kiss someone else.
Someone else gets your attention and time.
I am ignored and put at the very back of the back burner.
I am forgotten and easy to walk away from.
It seems to me, that eventually you will completely forget me.
Any use for me will be totally gone.
I see your love for me has faded and mine has stayed the same.

If this is the case, then my one and only love.
Then I choose to say good bye now.
Not after wasting months, years of my life,
Waiting for another man to love me,
Only to find out he never he did in the first place.