All Too Real

All Too Real
God that brought back bad memories.
The memory of staring at my own insane delusion staring right back at me as if the Cheshire cat just walked into the room and grinned that awful piercing grin.
You feel the blood drain.
The hope in your belly rots virulent and curdles you unto nausea.
Struck with your self-diagnosis as terminal.
You stare at the sheep but you know it's the wolf your eyes refuse to accept.
She is crying like it's you who has hurt her as you watch through the looking glass at the wolf right inside your bedroom without the sheep's clothing.
"I love you." she says
Is it the honesty of the sheep or the lie of the wolf?
The words are powerless now regardless of their author.
Inside that room you both tremble in terror as the illusions of your lives wash away before your eyes.
"Stop crying and don't touch me you lying whore! I'm leaving."
If only you could turn love off. Turn it off as fast as it betrayed you.
The pictures in her phone are a parallel universe.
This one I have never seen.
She hasn't sent you a picture of herself in her underwear in months.
I won't ever be the same.
Lying in bed next to me at 3 a.m. with her phone glowing and vibrating in her fist.
I dry heave
The thought of her sharing what you thought was private and exclusive....with him.
She bites him the same way as she bites you.
She smiles as her tongue slowly moves.
Her whispers the same in his ear as mine.
The horrifying image of him in the dark illuminated by the glow of his phone sweating and drooling over your wife.
I'm inadequate...that's all there is to it right?
I'm disposable...or else she wouldn't have done it so easily?
I'll never believe another word from her mouth again....right?
His wife calling to tell her off. Offering to show you what has been going on.
A noise outside.
It must be that mother fucker lurking around outside my house. Creeping around my bedroom!!
I'll kill him
Out of paper...
Fuck you ALB; what did you do to me?

C. Evan Thompson