Tales from the Players 2

Tales from the Players 2

It was cloudy out. The wind was blowing but it really wasn't all that cold. We had just finished taking our midterms so we were heading over to the bench. Today it was just Tim, Johnny and myself. I didn't really know where the others were, guess they still had tests to take, guess I never really asked.

"How do you guys think you did?" I posed the question to the two of them as we took a seat on the bench.

"I think I did alright, not really the biggest fan of tests though, I always get so nervous. I don't think I failed but I definitely didn't do as well as I think I should have." Tim always gives the same answer. He’s one of those students who always underplays how smart they are but when the grades come back it’s always a 'B' or higher.

"Personally, I don't really care. As long as I passed I'm cool...and I think I did that, so its whatever." Johnny never really cared much about his grades as long as they were passable. I guess I haven't actually explained much about him yet. Johnny John Johnson, yes that's his birth given name, was here on a sports scholarship. Another one of my friends I met here at college. He is an absolutely extraordinary athlete I'll give him that, some would say sort of stereotypical though, tall black male with superior basketball skill but, I've actually seen him practice a couple times, he has so much drive and determination its unreal, he pretty much eats sleeps and breathes it and in game he's an absolute monster. Though, his academics aren't the greatest unfortunately, not that he’s not smart I just think he's so focused on basketball that he can't really see why he needs school. "What about you, T? How’d that go for you?"

"Me? I don't know, I guess it went alright. Don't think I failed but I don't think I scored to high either." Truth is, I don't know why I'm in school or at least, I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing while in school. “Hey, Johnny, why do you have such a relaxed view on your grades? You’re almost a straight 'D', 'C' student, and you're cool with that?" I wasn't trying to insult him or anything I was just having a bit of trouble understanding it. I've never been great at school myself and for me it was always increasingly depressing. I never felt good enough and I never did well enough even when I tried so hard.

"Because this right here, is the number one MVP!" Tim, grabbed Johnny's shoulder and shook him a bit. Johnny just laughed for a bit and gave a couple head nods.

"Pretty much, sums it up." Johnny just gave a short simple answer.

"What? I don't really get how that translates into school or my question at all." I didn't really get what he meant by that at all.

"Well you see, I have a dream, well...a goal." He stood up and pulled his basketball out of his backpack and started dribbling it a bit like he was on the court. "It’s not that I feel like I don't need an education, I do a little reading on my own every now and then, but I'm going to the NBA soon and I want to make sure I make it...One day I'm going to be on the court playing for one of the big teams out there and people will look at me and say 'The next Stephen Curry' or maybe I'll be mentioned in a song or something. Then I'll solidify my name by making game winning shots." He continued to dribble for a bit then made a buzzer sound and shot the ball in the air.

"That’s...you believe that? I know you're good but, you're going to sacrifice everything just for that dream, well goal I guess." I'm a big supporter of dreams and goals and all of that but usually people have a sound plan or at least the education to back it, even with sports. I'm not a big sports fan so I didn't really know the statistics on how many people actually make it in after college but I'm sure it’s very slim. "It seems pretty crazy that you can say that ya know? What happens if it doesn't work out?"

"Then I'll live under a bridge with a sign that says 'Will ball for food.’ “He sat on top of his basketball and gave his best homeless man impression. The two of them shared a laugh, I didn't really find it all that funny.

"You don't have faith in him? Aren't you always the one preaching about believing in people and supporting them?" He moved next to Johnny and raised his arm. "This is the MVP!" Tim was right, I usually am the one trying to rally behind people who need support but, here I am questioning my friend’s life choices. I don't really even think it’s because I don't believe in him, it’s more that I don't believe in myself.

"It's not that...I just -- it doesn't make sense is all. I know he's good, I know he's really good." I looked over at Johnny. "I can't believe most of the things you can do with that basketball, I've never really been good at the game so it’s always so cool to watch. I guess I'm kind of just projecting my own insecurities on you. I've never believed in my dreams, I don't have a plan for life. I don't know what I want to do, all I know is that I have to go to school for it but, if I'm not good at school how do I expect to accomplish what I want to? It’s just frustrating... but you, you seem to have it completely figured out and I don't understand how you can." I laid back on the bench and looked up at the clouds. It was such a gray day.

"Nah, it’s not like that at all man. I don't have anything figured out fully. I just know what I want. I don't even know really how I want to get there, I just know that I want to get there. So I practice it, I practice it till it’s a part of me. I practice until I can turn that dream to a reality and hey, if I fall on my face, I tried and chased that dream. I'll figure out a way to pick myself up. ‘It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.' Do you know who said that?" I couldn't believe that I just heard Johnny quote anything and on top of that I was more surprised that I didn't know who said it.

"No, I have no clue, who?"

"A Brazilian novelist, Paulo Coelho. You can't just not believe in dreams, T. You have to keep it healthy and alive. What’s your dream?" He seemed so serious.

"Well, it’s kind of silly--"

"No, it’s not." Tim jumped in. He and I have actually had a similar conversation about it before. "Just say what it is."

"Well, I want to be a writer. Songs, poetry, stories. I don't know but, I just don't have the education for it. I've never been able to get into the right places. My parents have me taking all these math and science courses. I've only been grabbing maybe one or two English courses here and there but, I can't find help. I'm pretty shy about what I write and I can't sing so I just don't know how to get it out there, just seems like I should give up sometimes. There are so many people out there who have the same dream, same hobby as me, what makes me any different? Feel like I'm just going through the motions of life and not really moving anywhere at all. I'm frustrated." I was still looking up at the clouds, they were just gray blobs. It was silent for a second. The wind was whistling loudly.

"What’s wrong with that?" Johnny sat down on the bench next to me and stared up at the clouds also. "You see the clouds right? You see how dark it is out now? Well that's kind of how life is. You know eventually those clouds will go away and the sun will shine. Yeah, right now we are young, right now we have no clue what life is going to throw at us. It’s going to be rough, it’s going to be hard but we can't let it knock us down. That's what my dad taught me when he was still around. He always said 'Nothing makes a failure but a try.' Now personally I never thought it made much sense but, I guess it was one of those don't count yourself out just yet type sayings, so what if you think other people are better than you or you aren't smart enough, you still have to try. You say you have a dream and you say you don't know how you're going to get there, that's fine but, don't consider yourself a failure if you haven't even given it a try." He put is harm around my shoulder. "We're gonna make it and when we do you can write about my life and how I became famous." We both looked at each other and laughed.

"Alright, I guess you're right. I'll take that to heart." I never expected to be getting a pep talk from Johnny of all people. I guess in reality they're all there for me when I need them to be, so I shouldn't be too surprised.

"Would you look at that? What time is it?" Tim was still standing in front of us. The clouds were starting to separate and the sun was finally starting to show. I hadn't even noticed but the wind stopped to. "O wow, we've been out here for over a half an hour, maybe we should go find the others?”

"That's actually not a bad idea. Yea let’s go figure out where they are. They should be finished with any test they had by now. I'll see if I can text, Mimi." We all got up and started walking back towards the school, I was glad it was starting to get a little nicer out.