When did I start loving you?

I
When did I start loving you?
Not when I first saw you,
When you strut into the room and took a seat,
You were just another competitor to beat,

When did I start loving you?
Not when we became friends,
Even as you opened up to me,
You were still attached, and I loved being free.

When did I start loving you?
Not when I said I liked you
It took me a long time to admit,
But “like” is not the same as “love” – is it?

When did I start loving you?
Not after our first kiss,
God, I’d been so nervous,
That kiss turned out disastrous!

When did I start loving you?
Not as you snuggled beside me,
Although you kept your hand on my knee,
We were both more focused on the TV.

When did I start loving you?
Not whenever we argued,
When you would give me attitude,
And leave me feeling upset and confused.

When did I start loving you?
Not after you called it quits,
I didn’t do much to persuade you to stay,
I just stood there and let you walk away.

II
But if I never started loving you,
Why does your absence make me so blue?
Why am I constantly reminded of the times we spent together?
Why can’t I put you out of my mind forever?
Why can’t I start afresh with another?

III
When did I start loving you?
Surely not whenever we argued?
But why could I never stay mad?
Why did the thought of hurting you make me so sad?
Maybe I did love you then.

When did I start loving you?
Surely not as you snuggled beside me?
But how can I picture so vividly,
Your beautiful smile; your eyes, bluer than the sea?
Maybe I did love you then.

When did I start loving you?
Surely not after our first kiss?
But the moment your lips touched mine,
I felt shivers down my spine,
Maybe I did love you then.

When did I start loving you?
Surely not when I said I liked you?
But why did my world suddenly feel right,
When I ‘fessed up that night?
Maybe I did love you then.

When did I start loving you?
Surely not when we became friends?
But why did I constantly,
Want to spend time in your company?
Maybe I did love you then.

When did I start loving you?
Surely not when I first saw you?
But why do I remember,
Every detail of that day in September?
Maybe I did love you then.

.....
How do I tell you I love you?
How do I tell you I always have?