Dear Me

Dear Me,

It's been a struggle the last few years hasn't it? Remember when it was easy to put up new year goals and try to accomplish them? The last few years have seemingly tossed curve balls in our direction while simultaneously tossing up lava pits in random spots in the floor. The end of 2012 and the first half of 2013 was probably the worst time of my life with losing both of my parents, my brother, and an uncle followed by moving the summer of 2013 and hoping for a break emotionally and some new life in my career. While the first happened, the latter hasn't so much. By 2014, it was a financial mess with not realizing until after I had moved to a new state that my boyfriend's mom had been laid off and she'd splurged through her severance package, so I was having to offer up paychecks and money I didn't have (credit cards) so we didn't go homeless. My boyfriend's mom never helped pay back the money she owes and it got to be impossible to pay back that money while also staying afloat with my bills. My boyfriend had graduated college and was trying to find a job. His mom was unsuccessful in finding a job and was living off of the meager unemployment until it ran out, waiting to fully retire.

The beginning of 2015 looked up as I filed for bankruptcy (something I never thought I'd ever do in my life) and cleared out my debt. I felt like I could breathe again, which was amazing, wasn't it? We'd hoped to move out on our own that summer, my boyfriend and I, and because of my boyfriend's mom, we had to stay another year.

This year though, this year is looking up even more so. This year we're definitely getting an apartment! Freedom is just a few months away. On top of that, I've decided that this year is going to be all about me. I've pushed myself off for too long, whether it was for a good reason or not, I'm not going to do that again. I want to focus on myself, on bettering me in the ways that I've wanted to for so long.

I want to write as much as I can. My goal by the end of the year is to have written something every day. I've done better the last couple of years, but I want to write more. I want to dedicate myself back to writing, something I've neglected to do for a long time. It's something that is a part of me, of my soul.

Work on bettering myself in web design/development. I purchased a class from Udemy.com over a year ago when it was on sale and I started it at the beginning of the year. I also purchased some other programming classes that I'm going to take after I finish the one I'm on currently. I'm going to work at it and I'm going to get myself employed doing something I enjoy doing and getting myself OUT of retail.

I'm going to get healthy. I'm not going to set any goals, but I want to lose weight and eat healthier. I need to drink more in general. I used to be really good at drinking tea (iced) and water constantly and over the last couple of years it's been hard. I drink soda, but it's not a ridiculous amount. I just don't drink anything on any consistent basis. I want to change that.