Those First times

I would like to be one of those people that doesn't think about the past.
but I do.
I look at your past and see all the things You did and I wish you had those "first's" with me
The first time you said vows to a woman.
The first time your heart raised with excitement or fear because you found out you were gonna be a father.
The first time you saw the ultrasound of a baby , your baby!
The first time you placed your hand on a belly that was carrying a part of you and you felt movements, kicks.
The first time you were excited because a woman pregnant with your baby went into labor.
The first time you heard a tiny cry and realized the little person who did that sound was half of your DNA.
The first time you held a baby in your arms, your baby.
The look on your face when you did that.
The pride you feel when your kid hit new milestones.
I missed all because you didn't experience it with me .
and Now all feels second handed.
That should be my memory, That should be our story