Mette and Co. - episode 4

Scene 1
The teachers discuss their plans for the next week.

(Before the students come in, Ms. Ausderau stops by to talk with her friend, a fellow teacher on the third floor. Afterwards, she passes by a group of teachers from the social studies department who are standing in the hallway.)

MS. AUSDERAU
(To Ms. Mervine)
Hi, Valerie.

MS. MERVINE
Hi, Diana.

MS. AUSDERAU
What are you going to do for next week?

MS. MERVINE
Our whole department is going to have all our classes bring food on Tuesday.

MR. MOORE
My geography classes are each going to bring a dish from a different country.

MS. ELLIS
Same here, except I hope mine doesn't start a food fight.

MR. JACOBS
For my class, they're going to bring a dish that represents their culture and explain the history of each dish.

MS. AUSDERAU
Awesome. I think I'll steal that idea for my classes. Except I'll have them cook the dishes.

MR. JOYNER
Dang, I got nothing. I guess we just eat.
(After talking some more, Ms. Ausderau decides to head to her classroom.)

MS. AUSDERAU
See you guys later.

MR. JACOBS
Bye.

MS. MERVINE
See you.


Scene 2
Ms. Ausderau asks each of her students what they plan to cook.


MS. AUSDERAU
(To Roos)
What are you going to make?

ROOS
(Smiling)
Advocaat

MS. AUSDERAU
(Suspicious)
Let me look that up.
(Ms. Ausderau pulls out her smartphone and googles 'advocaat'.)

MS. AUSDERAU
(To Roos)
No alcohol!
(Roos pouts)
(Didi raises her hand from the other side of the table.)

MS. AUSDERAU
And nothing that requires a blow torch or any other open flame.
(Didi puts her hand down in disappointment.)
(Over at another table...)

MS. AUSDERAU
(To student)
And what are you planning to make?

SANNE
Crème Brûlée.

MS. AUSDERAU
I said no blow torches.

SANNE
What about matches?

MS. AUSDERAU
Absolutely not! (Pause) Just so that you know, it costs the school money every time someone sets the class on fire.


Scene 3
Mrs. Jacobs gets more than she bargained for when she asks students to respond to the daily writing prompt.

(At the beginning of fifth period, Mrs. Jacobs gives her class a writing prompt to start the day. They are given a few minutes to write what comes to mind. After they are finished, Mrs. Jacobs has everyone share the first sentence of what they wrote.)

METTE
It wasn't until I was older that I understood that my father wished I'd never born.

DIANA
It wasn't until I was older that I understood that it wasn't normal to taser your kids.

JÓHANNA
It wasn't until I was older that I understood that there are people in the world who never heard of Björk.

EMMA
Who's Björk?
(During her 10th grade class, Mrs. Jacobs gives the same prompt and also asks them to share what they wrote.)

ALYONA
It wasn't until I was older that I realized what it meant to be the only living member of my biological family.

ROOS
It wasn't until I was older that I realized that outside the Netherlands, 'coffee shop' really does mean a place to get coffee, not weed.

MRS. JACOBS
(Thinking)
Maybe I picked the wrong prompt today.


Scene 4
Ms. Selariu stops by Mr. Jacobs' classroom while the class is having a discussion

(In the middle of Mr. Jacobs' history class there is a knock on the door. He answers the door while Ms. Isayeva, the co-teacher for the Russian immersion classes in the social studies department, stays seated as the students continue their discussion.)

MS. SELARIU
I hope I wasn't disturbing you.

MR. JACOBS
It's okay. We were just having a discussion about what's been happening the past couple of years in Ukraine.

MS. SELARIU
Are you sure that's a good idea in a class full of, among others, Russians and Ukrainians?

MR. JACOBS
Yeah. They all get along really well.
(Meanwhile, the discussion between the Russians and the Ukrainians is getting heated.)

VIKA
(Screaming loud enough to be heard in the hallway)
К ЧЁРТУ!!!

MR. JACOBS
Well that went downhill fast.

MS. SELARIU
(Sarcastically)
Sounds like they're getting along really well.



Scene 5
After the last class is over, Mrs. Jacobs talks with Ms. Selariu.

(After the students leave for the day, Mrs. Jacobs heads to Ms. Selariu's classroom.)

MRS. JACOBS
(To Ms. Selariu)
I need to talk to you about your daughter.

MS. SELARIU
What did she do this time?!

MRS. JACOBS
Nothing really. I was just concerned about what she wrote today in response to the day's prompt. Did your daughter really get tased when she was younger?

MS. SELARIU
Unfortunately, yes. That's why we moved here - to get away from that poor excuse for a human being.

MRS. JACOBS
Wow, that's terrible.

MS. SELARIU
Well, I grabbed the taser, turned that sucker on high, and tased him right back.

MRS. JACOBS
(Face palms)
Most people call the cops.

MS. SELARIU
Oh, I did that too. After I got done with him, he needed the ambulance more than Didi.


Scene 6
Food party in AP Geography class and Government class during first period




(While the AP Geography class is having their party, Kristian brings Masha a sample of a Norwegian dish.)

MASHA
(Looking at Mette)
Что это?

METTE
(Grinning)
Meow.

VERA
Don't be silly, Mette.

VERA
(To Masha)
Это норвежское блюдо. (It's a Norwegian dish.)

MASHA
Ах. (Ah.)
(Later on, Jóhanna brings Masha a small portion of an Icelandic dish.)

MASHA
(To Jóhanna)
What this?

METTE
Icelandic food. So just barely edible.

JÓHANNA
Very funny.

KIARA
What did YOU bring, Ayumi?

MAGGIE
Probably sushi.

AYUMI
Why do you assume just because I'm Japanese that I brought sushi?!!
(Ayumi grows silent.)

KRISTIAN
It's sushi, isn't it?
(Meanwhile, Mr. Joyner's first period is having their party.)

KASIA
(To Mr. Joyner)
We fixed you a plate.

MR. JOYNER
What is this?

KASIA
A surprise. Just eat it.

MR. JOYNER
Ha! You think I was born yesterday?


Scene 7
Ms. Burnette's English class holds their party.

(One of Ms. Burnette's class is having their party.)

KRISTOFFER
What did you bring?

MAREN
Some fish dish.

KRISTOFFER
Aha! The comic was right! You Norwegians and your fish!

MS. BURNETTE
What comic are you referring to?

SONJA
Trust me. You don't want to know.

KRISTOFFER
It's called Scandinavia and the world. Want to see?

MS. BURNETTE
Sure.
(The Danish student pulls out her smartphone and goes to the website.)

SONJA
You're not actually going to show her, are you?
(After pulling up the first comic, the student shows it to Ms. Burnette.)

MS. BURNETTE
(Looking at the comic)
Oh my. I don't think this is appropriate for school.
(Later during the class period, Ms. Burnette is trying to print something when she realizes that her printer is out of ink.)

MS. BURNETTE
Anybody want to volunteer to go to English department office? I need some more ink for this printer.

PERNILLE
I'll do it.
(Ms. Burnette signs Pernille's hall pass and sends her on her way. Wandering through the hallway, Pernille realizes that she forgot where the English department's office is located.)

PERNILLE
(To herself)
Screw this.
(She walks into the first unoccupied classroom she sees and removes the ink from the printer. She then goes back to her classroom.)

PERNILLE
(Handing Ms. Burnette the ink)
Here you go.

MS. BURNETTE
Wow, that was fast.

PERNILLE
(Thinking to herself)
Hehe.
(Towards the end of the period, Mrs. Jacobs returns from her lunch break. During the following period, which is her planning period, she attempts to print out her lesson plans. However, a screen pops up saying that the printer is out of ink.)

MRS. JACOBS
(To herself)
That's funny. I just put ink in this thing yesterday.
(She opens her printer and finds that her ink cartridges are missing.)

MRS. JACOBS
Hey!!! Who stole my ink cartridges?!!
(In the next classroom over, Ms. Burnette hears Mrs. Jacobs yelling.)

MS. BURNETTE
(Looking at Pernille)
You didn't go to the English office, did you?

PERNILLE
(Smiling nervously)
He he.



Scene 8
Mette and Pernille make a mess.

(After the party in Ms. Mervine's classroom, Ayumi and her friend stay behind to clean up. Meanwhile, Mr. Jacobs and Mr. Moore pass by and notice the students helping.)

MR. JACOBS
How nice of them to clean up.

MS. MERVINE
My Japanese students ARE rather helpful.

MR. MOORE
The Norwegian and the other Scandinavian students were pretty helpful, too.
(Meanwhile, in Mr. Moore's classroom, Mette and Pernille are in no rush to head to the cafeteria for lunch. Pernille is about to open a bag of potato chips.)

METTE
(To Pernille)
Here, let me show you a fun way to open it.
(Mette pops open the bag by smacking it on both sides simultaneously. Unfortunately, the bag pops open at the bottom instead of the top. The entire contents spill out.)

METTE
Oops.
(The teachers decide to investigate the huge pop heard next door. Approaching the doorway, they see potato chips all over the desk and the floor.)
(Mette and Pernille make their way out the classroom.)

METTE
(To Mr. Moore)
You might want to call a custodian to clean that up.
(On the way out, Mette tosses a crumpled sheet of paper over her shoulder as Mr. Moore stands by speechless.)

MR. JACOBS
(To Mr. Moore)
You were saying?

MR. MOORE
(To Mette, who is heading down the hallway)
Aren't you going to clean this up?

METTE
Nope. (Pause) Later, suckers.

MS. MERVINE
That girl has a LOT of nerve.


Scene 9
(During Ms. Jakobsen's planning period, Roos is helping with paperwork. While working on paperwork, they are eating leftover cake from Ms. Jakobsen's previous class.)



MS. JAKOBSEN
Thanks for helping, Roos.

ROOS
No problem. Thanks for the cake.

MS. JAKOBSEN
You're welcome.
(Later, Ms. Jakobsen serves Roos and herself the last two pieces of cake. Before she begins to eat it, she gets up from her desk.)

MS. JAKOBSEN
I have to take care of a quick errand. Watch my food for me.

ROOS
Sure thing.
(Ms. Jakobsen leaves the classroom.)
(Roos quickly finishes her cake. Afterward, she starts eying Ms. Jakobsen's slice.)
(Ms. Jakobsen returns to her classroom.)

MS. JAKOBSEN
HEY!!! WHO TOOK MY CAKE?!! (To Roos) I told you to watch it!

ROOS
I did. (Pointing to her stomach.) It's right here.

MS. JAKOBSEN
I was going to eat that.

ROOS
You were taking so long. It was sitting there saying (high voice) 'EAT ME'.

MS. JAKOBSEN
Cakes don't talk, Roos.

ROOS
(Licks fingers)
Says you.



Scene 10
The AP Psychology class enjoys their food

(Elena is about to open a bottle of what appears to be champagne.)

MS. MERVINE
(To Elena)
You can't have that in school!!

ELENA
Don't worry, this is just sparkling juice.
(Unknown to her, Katarzyna has shaken up the bottle. She smiles as Elena stands by the trash can as she attempts to pry off the top. After some effort, she finally gets the top off. The entire contents shoot out and hit Dr. Romanova, whom they suddenly discover standing in the doorway. Ms. Mervine is horrified.)

DR. ROMANOVA
Please tell me that isn't alcohol.

ELENA
Oh, this is only sparkling juice.

DR. ROMANOVA
I WAS just stopping by random classrooms to check up on things, but something tells me that I need to keep a special eye on this class.

MS. MERVINE
I'm so sorry about that. Here's some napkins to wipe yourself down.



Scene 11
The AP Geography class enjoys leftovers.

(The next day, the AP Geography class is enjoying leftover snacks.)
(Mette goes to open one of the bags of chips.)

MR. MOORE
(To Mette)
Don't even think about it! You're the last person I want opening those bags of chips!


(With an attitude on her face, Mette sits down. She then proceeds to mutter some offensive words in Norwegian.)

MR. MOORE
Care to repeat that, Mette?

METTE
I was just saying what a great teacher you are.

MR. MOORE
That's not what I heard. If I hear anymore disrespect from you in ANY language, you're getting detention.
(A few minutes later, when Mr. Moore turns around, Mette sneaks and grabs the bag of chips. In her seat, she proceeds to smack open the bag of chips. Hearing the huge pop, Mr. Moore turns to see Mette holding the bag of chips.)

MR. MOORE
I told you not to open the chips! (Pause) Go stand out in the hallway for the rest of the class.
(Moments later, much of the class begins laughing. Mr. Moore turns toward the door to see Mette making faces from the other side.)

MR. MOORE
I've had enough of her today.


(He reaches for the phone and proceeds to make a phone call. A moment later, Mrs. Johannessen could be heard scolding her daughter outside the classroom.)



Scene 12
The teachers are excited to begin their vacation.


MRS. ANDERSEN
I'm so glad this week is over.

MS. MERVINE
Finally! Four days without any students.

MR. MOORE
I'm looking forward to four Mette-free days.

MRS. JOHANNESSEN
Hey, I have to live with her.

MRS. ANDERSEN
Oh, that's right. (Pause) Poor you.
(The teachers laugh.)

MRS. JOHANNESSEN
(To Ms. Mervine)
Go ahead and laugh, Valerie. I'll persuade her to sigh up for Psychology next year.

MS. MERVINE
(Horrified)
You wouldn't!
(The other teachers continue laughing.)

MRS. JOHANNESSEN
(To Mr. Jacobs and Mr. Joyner)
I wouldn't laugh if I were you two, either. She's going to take both AP History and AP Government eventually.

MR. JACOBS
Aww, man.

MR. JOYNER
Dang it.



Scene 13
A few students crash Ms. Mervine's thanksgiving dinner.

(Edyta, Katarzyna, and Tatiana are hanging out in Katarzyna's bedroom after dinner early Thursday evening. Katarzyna decides to call her friend, Elena.)

KASIA
(To Elena, on the phone)
We're bored. Edyta, Tanya, and I are going for a drive. Want to join us?

ELENA
Sounds fun. Can Masha come?

KASIA
Of course.
(They go to Elena and Masha's house. Elena and Masha come out.)

TANYA
(To Kasia)
Isn't it against the law for 17 year olds to have this many passengers?

KASIA
Laws are for chumps.
(Elena and Masha get seated.)

ELENA
So where are we going?

KASIA
Good question. Almost everything is closed on Thanksgiving. (Pause) Let's go crash someone's dinner.

TANYA
But whose?

EDYTA
(With a cunning look on her face)
Let's go to one of our teachers' houses.

KASIA
Sounds fun. But does anyone know where any of them live?

ELENA
Ms. Mervine and her family is Eleonoora's host family. I have Nora's phone number. We can get the address from her.
(A bit later at the Mervine house...)

MS. MERVINE
(To her husband)
Ugh. I'm not looking forward to cleaning all of this up.
(The doorbell rings. Ms. Mervine opens the door to see Elena, Edyta, Katarzyna, Maria, and Tatiana.)

MS. MERVINE
Umm, hi. What are you doing here?

KASIA
We were hoping to crash your dinner.

MS. MERVINE
(Rolls eyes)
Of course you would.
(Ms. Mervine takes a moment to think.)

MS. MERVINE
(Smiling)
You're more than welcome. Come on in.
(The girls come in and take off their shoes.)

ELENA
(To Ms. Mervine)
This is my little sister, Maria. But she usually goes by, Masha.

MS. MERVINE
Hi, Masha.

MASHA
(Nervous)
Hi.
(As the girls sit down by the table, Ms. Mervine brings them the food. Soon, the girls are eating their dessert.)

TANYA
Thanks, Ms. Mervine. This is delicious.

MS. MERVINE
No problem. (Pause) Just after you finish, I want you girls to come and clean up in the kitchen.
(The girls look at each other with hesitation.)

MS. MERVINE
(To the girls, holding Katarzyna's car keys)
And just in case you were planning on just leaving, I have your car keys.
(Later in the kitchen...)

EDYTA
I think the joke's on us.

KASIA
I still can't believe she outsmarted us.

TANYA
Are any of you seriously surprised that someone who teaches psychology pulled one over on us?

EDYTA
Shut up, Tanya. Obviously, you didn't see this coming either.

ELENA
(To Ms. Mervine)
And to think you were my favorite teacher.

MS. MERVINE
(To Elena)
Less talking, more dishwashing.