Emotions

They say be you.
But, I can never "be me."
When I was younger,
I felt emotions:
Anger, fear, sadness, and happiness.

I wasn't afraid to show how I felt.
That all changed in an instant.
The world goes from a seemingly happy place--
To a terrible soul-crushing area
Where everyone fights to see who the winner is.
The winner is whoever can't feel anything.
The winner is the best at feeling numb no matter the circumstance.

I remember one time that I was told act sad.
I couldn't even react.
I was already numb. What's the difference?
I can't even tell feelings apart.
I have trained myself to feel nothing.
I would rather feel numb than to show people who I actually am.
Who I actually am is a terrible sight to see.

I began thinking and I came up with--
Since when are emotions a bad feeling?
What changed in our lives that turned us into not-humans?
What happened to everyone?
Life happened.
Life isn't wonderful or glorious.
They say the only way to change is to be you.

But I don't believe I could ever show that
No one wants to see that horrid person I hide away
No one should ever have to see that.
Emotions are horrible.
Feeling numb is better than breaking down.

They say you get stronger after you break
I see no current positives.
The lowest of the low should not be seen by anyone.
I say you must hide everything
Until, someone cares enough to stay...