Change a Reality or a Fantasy

Change a Reality or a Fantasy

Al. Tamehi
Date: Feb 2016


Preface
I have read many articles and analysis about a phenomenon called, “CHANGE”. The bottom line in all these discussions is the answer to one fundamental question:
Can we really change our lives or we are the prisoners of our social status, our society, our culture, our religion and finally our inner fears? May be freeing ourselves from these prisons is what change is all about?


To Change is to make Choices
Our life is built from the first day we open our eyes to this world by the choices we make. The only choice which we have no control on is to be born in the first place. The first step is to recognize this reality. We choose what movies to watch, we choose the type of a friend we want to be with, we choose to go to school or play truant. We choose to raise our voice in front of our father; we choose to close our eyes on all the unrewarded sufferings of our mother. When I am a captain I choose to jump off the sinking ship before the passengers and we choose to lie. On the other side of the spectrum we choose to stop drinking, we choose to shoulder the responsibility of our children and we choose to help a friend in difficulty. We choose to sacrifice our own interests for others and we choose to face our inner fears and rebel against them.
This brings me to a quotation by Sartre, “We are condemned to be free.”
We are free to CHOOSE, this means that we are responsible for what we are and to take Sartre’s statement a step further we are destined to choose. Even choosing not to choose is a choice.
There are many arguments supporting this view that we are forced into choosing a path against our will. Of course, this is true because our upbringing, our social status or even the color of our skin, are factors which some where in our life influence the choices we make. All these compulsions are true but their share is always 49% and not 51%. We are considered as human beings in the evolution of life on earth because we have the freedom to make choices.

Therefor the only way to create change in our lives is to make our choices. Obviously every choice has a price and its here that the line between Black & White is drawn. If I want to be honest to myself there is no grey option to choose.


Two distinctive approaches to change
Many of us are faced with difficult choices in our lives. Choices which draw our road map. Here we are faced with two distinct options:

Option A: I need the help of others to create change in my life.
Option B: It’s me who should pay the price and I don’t need somebody else to encourage me.

Both options have their own philosophers and advocates. One says; “your only friend to trust is your inner voice, it is here that you will find strength and guidance”, the other says; “look out of the grey walls of the gutter you are not alone”. In my view the closed circle of our own self at the best is only the strength of one person’s mind to strive forward to create change. However by connecting and reaching outside this single mind is multiplied. However the first step to connect to this outside help is to have the courage to say that I do need help.

The Cycle of Change
Having discussed the philosophy of how to create change in our lives, now its time to draw its Cycle:

First step: Acknowledgment of the truth about yourself.

Second Step: Stop blaming outside factors and look to yourself as the one who should change.

Third Step: Step out of the prison of your own mind and connect to the outside world and the people around you.

Fourth Step: Set goals and commitments for yourself.

Fifth Step: Ask a friend to be your guardian in striving for these goals.

Finally: live and enjoy every second of life as you create change in your life. These are the moments that not only you but your loved ones will never forget.

Conclusion
In my view CHANGE is not a fantasy, it’s a reality that we have to face and pay the price for it. I Can and I Must Change.
To create change, it’s a matter of choosing a path with many cross roads on the way. It’s an act of rebellion or facing our responsibilities. It’s never late and life is too short to wait. Change the view of yourself and the world around you and you will realize that change is a reality and the contentment you reach will be with you for ever.