Needing to choose whether to change (for the better) or not... before it is too late |
"Can I Fight To Live?" (written 6/19/01. titled 6/29/01 - 17 years old) I found a place in my thoughts- A home for you. You made a place in my heart, And stayed there, too. At first you were weak: Just another voice. But now I have to listen to you. Now I have no choice. You have grown stronger. Parasitic to me. You've taken over my eyes So now I can not see. Due to your harm, Of you I wish to be rid. But I'm so very scared. Will I be able to live? I don't know, so I continue. I accept your abuse. People say to get away. I'm always there with an excuse. I'm closing in on death. And its all because of you. I should have fought for me, But I didn't know what to do. Is the damage irreversible? Or can I now fight to live? I'll use all of my strength. I'll give all I can give. Yeah, I say that now. But will I really try? I say I'll fight to live, But will I really fight to die? Good choices can't be made While you're in control of my mind. I'll have to rely on a friend. I'll see who I can find. I'll need to learn to like me And not focus on all that's wrong. Cuz then I can go my own way. I can march to my own song. And that friend I find can help me To do exactly that. He can lead me into light And away from your mighty wrath He can help to give me courage So I can start to heal. He can take me by the hand And show what's fake and real. That's if I choose to live. Not an easy choice to make Cuz I know it involves a lot Of time and risks I'd need to take. But its something I have to choose Before it is too late. I don't want only time to be That which seals my fate. |