Traffic Jam and Toast

Traffic Jam and Toast by Rory Smith
Chapter One - Meet the Gang
It was the final day, of the final year, at Northcestier University. The 6 close pals had just finished their final geography exams. And now the plan was to drive to Caeralarch Beach for a flight, for a holiday, to the Equator island of Eqzo, where they would get tanned, drink and score.
There were 4 men, and two women. For all 3 years, the pals had shared a floor in a block of student accommodation. All six were 21 years old.
There was Stuart Woody, a short dark haired guy, cocky and confident.
There was Laura Blonde, pretty, and short in height, with short blonde hair.
There was Gareth Samuels, a tall dark haired, electric guitar player with eyes that stared through you, like a psychopath. Damian Bailey, a fat former DVD seller, who smoked marijuana, and took pleasure boasting of the people he had bullied.
Cleo Jones, a dark haired, French - English girl, who had a string of older boyfriends. She looked classy, but would often be found outside snoging her current beaus, and hated shy guys whom she regarded as creeps and weirdoes.
And finally Stephen Gavin, a tall, dark haired, handsome male strip dancer, who was dating Laura.
The gang were in the foyer of the block, where they had finished exams.
Just then a shy quiet guy who they hated walked past. They did not know his name, but called him a weirdo and sad, for not talking to people. Laura and a short fat girlfriend of hers, with a babyish voice had laughed smirking at him a week before. The shy guy had responded by feigning that he thought they were laughing at him in attraction, so winked back. Laura then told all her friends that he was a creep for doing that. Stuart Woody shouted creep at him, and Damien Bailey sneered, ‘Don’t worry about him. Everyone hates him.’

Chapter Two - People Carrier
The 6 then carried on, onto their people carrier, for the trip south to the airport.
The driver was Damian Bailey. The others had some sly alcohol drinks on the side.
As the five drove out of the city, Damian Bailey tried to turn the radio on, but Stuart waved his hand in the way, ‘No Damian. No radio. We are gonna sing.
Stuart promptly started to sing with Gareth some of their favourite pop songs. Gareth played an acoustic guitar, And it had to be said they had great voices.
The car reached the motorway to Caeralarch Airport.
And to Stuart’s amusement. There was a traffic jam on the other side of the road. Stuart wound down the window on his back seat and waved to the cars stuck in a traffic jam.
He shouted at Damian to beep his car horn. To gloat at those stuck on the other side of the road.
Gareth gloated, ‘Oh man, We’re off to have a great vacation, get laid, and drink like a bunch of top guys. While those losers are stuck in a traffic jam. This is the life. Life is sweet.’
The other 5 started yelling at the people stuck in traffic.
Stuart waved at the traffic on the other side,
Some drivers on the other side of the road, furiously beeped their horns and shouted back at them in anger. They seemed mad. Some waved their hands at them. One man got out of his car and ran across the road waving at them, with a banner with the words, ‘Beware, you are dammed.’
Damien beeped his horn and attempted to intimidate the runner by accelerating towards him, beeping his horn at the man. The man managed to dodge out of the way.
Damien and the girls laughed their heads off at this action.
Damien said, ‘Just having a laugh, what everyone does.’
The gang drove on for 3 miles at top speed, and the traffic jam started to die away and before long there were no cars on the other side of the road.

Chapter Three - Caeralarch Beach Airport
The 6 reached the Caeralarch Beach airport car park, after 10 minutes, and funnily enough there were no cars in the car park.
The 6 got out of the car. Damien said, ‘I don’t get why there is nobody in the car park?’
Cleo said, ‘Must be all those weird creepy mongs, who everyone hates, who were driving the other way. Most people are weird creepy mongs, that’s why everyone hates them. Weirdoes. I hate weirdoes.’
Damien laughed and agreed.
Stuart said, ‘Yeah everyone hates them. Everyone does. We speak for everyone. We just say what everyone wants to say, but doesn’t have the nerve. Except the weirdoes of course.’
Gareth shouted, ‘I hate weirdoes. I hate mongs. I hate shy people. I hate people I bully. Lets hope there are no weirdoes and mongs where we go.’
The scumbags walked on toward the airport.
Then Gareth shouted, ‘Someone told me I should not bully people. Well it is my constitutional freedom of speech to bully people to suicide, and harass old ladies, and shout out racist sexist, homophobic abuse at people, and threaten to murder or rape people. And what a terrible world we would live in if we were not free to bully people to suicide, what a tyrannical world that would be.’

Gareth continued, ‘Like my Dad always said to me, No one has a right, to not be offended. Well except people doing the bullying. We should never be insulted for bullying people, because of freedom of speech. A wise man said, the only restriction on freedom of speech, should be that bullies should never be insulted back.’

Stuart then spoke up, ‘Yeah everyone agrees with us, everyone does. Well apart from sad, creepy, weak weirdoes. I hate weirdoes. I hate people who hate bullies more than weirdoes.’

Cleo replied to Stuart, ‘Yes, don’t those people who campaign against bullying realise bullies may have had tough lives? While all victims of bullying have easy lives, and never suffer from unemployment, or illness, or abuse in their family. They are so selfish. Why can’t they just accept their place as our emotional punch bags? The bullies are the real victims who deserve our sympathy. I always see the good in evil people, and evil in good people, especially weirdoes. I am so profound and deep.’
Cleo continued, ‘In fact victims are the real bad guys if they just stopped being weird, we wouldn’t need to bully them so badly they become weird. And we need bullies. We need bullies in the prison service, army, police, immigration service, fire service, and industry. We really need people who bully, the weirdoes and foreigners to suicide, for their own sadistic pleasure.’

Laura replied smugly, ‘Yes, and I think bullying people, and raping people is sexy. I am so clever for deciding that bad boys are sexy for bullying and raping people. Why is it a nice girl like me decides to support rapists, paedophiles, murderers, wife beaters, serial killers and bullies, and hates their victims?’

Laura hysterically ranted out her evil views with little self awareness at her own evil, ‘There is just something manly, exciting and sexy about bad boys. It is such a mystery why I take pleasure in the abuse of others, and what a mystery it is why a good girl like me supports abuse. No one can ever understand the pleasure I take in abuse. I am so deep, original, and profound for finding abusers sexy, and everyone agrees with me apart from weirdoes. We just say what everyone wants to say but don’t have the guts.’

Damian spoke, ‘I hate victims of bullying. And they should stop complaining about being bullied. After all if a victim of bullying speaks out against bullying it would just make them get bullied. And we can’t have that guys, can we?’

The 6 laughed out loud, at the terrible logicality of their argument.

Laura spoke, ‘Yeah It’s like those rape victims who speak out against rape. If only they could realise, they will just get raped again, if they speak out against rape?’

Laura laughed again nervously, at the drivel she was spouting.

Just then the 6 looked across the beach, and in the distance a large smoke cloud could be seen, approaching over the horizon, at top pace.

Cleo stopped, ‘What the feck is that?’
The cloud was approaching fast, It was grey, and seemed to have something moving in the cloud. It was covering the horizon and grew higher and higher in the sky, and covering the ocean. From the cloud came screams. And as the cloud approached the 6 started to make out a terrifying spectacle. The cloud was one of pulsating moving creatures of hell. A cloud of mythical beasts in what had seemed to be a cloud which were in fact crackens, ghosts, ferocious monsters that stood no description, giant vultures, giant pterodactyls, dragons, serpents, ogres, goblins. The screams as the whirling mass of monsters flew over the land, like a plague of locusts, and grew louder.
Cleo, collapsed, fainted to the floor.
Damian, and the other men quickly ran for it, leaving Laura to look after Cleo.
But it was too late, the cloud of monsters flew over them, and the last words of Damian as he ran screaming in terror, were, ‘I wish I’d turned that radio on, now we are jam and toast.’
Stuart screamed, ‘Idiots. You should have turned that radio on. Those people were shouting at us to flee this plague.’


And so the 6 bullies were devoured by the plague of Caeralarch Beach. No one else was killed in the plague, and the monsters had their satisfying feed of human bodies. And like all bullies, they felt they spoke for everyone, and that victims of bullying should shut up, because only the pro bullying view should be put forward. Just like evil people think only the pro racist, pro homophobic, pro wife beating, pro mugging values should be put forward.