Chapter Two Lower Education

Chapter Two
Lower Education
Mark Lui
I followed my brother and sister into elementary school at Holy Trinity Grade School on the south side of Racine, Wisconsin in 1960. My brother Matthew was a smart but entirely reluctant student entering the fourth grade. My sister Jan would later be diagnosed as dyslectic and would have difficulty throughout school was entering second grade. First grade would prove to be the most boring and difficult year of my life due entirely to Sister Mary Francis.
Holy Trinity was a Czechoslovakian parish. Racine still had neighborhood parishes but the parishes were now being "integrated" through intermarriages between Czechs and Poles and Irish and Germans. This had been going on for about thirty years and the parishes were starting to lose their "ethnic purity". My father had attended St. John parish (German) and my mother had attended St. Patrick (Irish). Sister Mary Francis was Czech and she held to the belief of ethnic purity.
On the first day Sister Mary Francis had each of us introduce ourselves and where our parent's parishes had been. The second I mentioned St. Patrick a scowl came across Sister's face and she stopped and gave a five minutes lecture on the deficiency of the Irish race. No one following me mentioned St. Patrick or St. Edwards - The Irish had two parishes. Every day for two weeks the class got another lecture on the evils of the Irish and all eyes came my way as the only admitted Irishman. My cousin Patrick was in my class and both his parents were Irish, but he was no fool. He kept his mouth shut.
I would repeat the parts of the lecture that my six year old brain could recall at the evening dinner table. My parents at first thought I was creating these tales until they got so convoluted that they knew no six years old could create such hatred. The conversation turned to speculation on why Sister Mary Francis could hate the Irish with such intensity. My parents thought maybe she had had an Irish boyfriend that he had treated her badly when she was young. Matty immediately disagreed saying that no one who looked like Sister Mary Francis could ever have had a boyfriend. My mother gave him her impatient look and that ended the conversation.
A week later was the one week parent teacher social for first graders. My dad came home laughing while I could tell that Sister Mary Francis had "creeped" mom out. Still, in 1960, parents did what the Priests and Sisters said without question. The most common response to a complaint about school was "do what Sister says". Matt and Jan heard it most nights and I would later hear it thousands of times, but never with Sister Mary Francis. One night dad came into Matty and my room and told Matty he was right, Sister Mary Francis could not have had an Irish boyfriend.
The first month of first grade was mostly learning how to go to the bathroom by ourselves, how to raise our hand to go to the bathroom and how not to vomit once a day. I was the only one in first grade who had attended kindergarten the previous year and knew these essentials. Kindergarten was not mandatory in 1959. I spent much of my first month taking other boys to the wash room and showing them how to wipe themselves. School was not what I expected.
After the breaking in period, first grade settled into learning the alphabet which was my next problem. Jan and I did everything together. She had been in first grade the previous year and she and I did her first grade studying. Entering first grade, I knew how to read and write. With forty kids in first grade it took Sister Mary Francis about three weeks to discover I could read. She caught me reading one of the first grade library books that Jan had brought home the year before. She had me read it out loud and I naively thought that she would be pleased. She was in fact angry and I got a lecture on the inadequacies of my parents.
I knew I had to lay low and not read anymore, but this made first grade intolerably boring. There were a few things that relieved the boredom. The first were my cousin Patrick and Johnny Cole both of whom were in trouble constantly. I think Sister Mary Francis spent half her time disciplining one or the other. She would call up one and have them hand out their hand and smack it with her wooden ruler. Patrick and Johnny would go into increasing fits of pain as the day went on. I was thoroughly entertained, but I also wanted nothing to do with that ruler so I kept my mouth shut and my head low.
My other entertainment was my desk partner Mary Kay Czkvllikazcka. Don't bother trying to pronounce it. Czech names can run three syllables with one vowel. All first graders would cry occasionally, but Mary Kay took it to performance art. Pitch, rhythm, volume, inhalation, exhalation, nasal sounds coughing, gestures, facial expressions, core movements, foot stomping, hair flailing and tear volume were all combined into an infinite variety of sadness. I sat one foot away from one the true masters of her art and I sat in awe. As Sister Mary Francis became immune throughout the year, Mary Kay brought her top form until she got the attention she sought. Being the youngest child, this art was important to me. The only defense I had against a brother three years older were tears and volume within range of my parents. Mary Kay taught me more essential information than all of first grade.
My entertainment kept me out of trouble for a couple of months, but, as usual, Jan got me into trouble. Jan, in second grade, was having difficulty keeping up with her book reports. She was supposed to read a book and write a one page report each week. Her solution was to have me do it, which I was happy to do since I wasn't allowed to read the first grade books. The first grade books were dribble anyway. I did this at home for a couple weeks, but then I decided to add this to my entertainment at school. Sister Mary Francis caught me and now she knew I could write as well as read.
My dreaded moment came as she called me up and had me hold out my hand and whack! With an older brother, I probably was punched on average four time a day, so when I got tapped on the hand my immediate reaction was - that's it? I did what came natural - I laughed. This is not something you want to do to an already angry Nun.
Sister Mary Francis grabbed me by the ear and dragged me to the chalk board. She wrote on the board - I will not write at my desk. She pointed her finger in my face and said "you will write this until this chalk board is full". I started but all the excitement had caused Mary Kay to go into one of her best performances and Sister had to deal with her. While I was writing, Patrick and Johnny who always sat in the two desks closest to Sister Mary Francis' desk with good reason whispered "she's making you do what she's punishing you for doing". I laughed - another mistake.
After Christmas break, first grade revolved around first communion. I guess Rome figured that once you knew the alphabet and could read "SEE DICK RUN - RUN DICK RUN" then we had reached the age of reason and could burn in hell. We started by reading the story of Moses and then memorizing the Ten Commandments. For you heathens here is a list:
I          am the LORD your God: 
you          shall not have 
strange          Gods before me.
         You          shall not take 
the          name of the LORD your God in vain.
         Remember          to keep holy the LORD'S Day.
         Honor          your father and your mother.
         You          shall not kill.
         You          shall not commit adultery.
         You          shall not steal.
         You          shall not bear false witness 
against          your neighbor.
         You          shall not covet 
your          neighbor's wife.
         You          shall not covet 
your          neighbor's goods.

I didn't want to go to confession. I had memorized the Ten Commandments but I didn't really understand them. I understood the words steal and kill, but strange gods, vain, honor, adultery, bear false witness and covet meant nothing to me. When I asked Sister Mary Francis what these meant she sent me to the principal's office for even discussing them. I had no choice but to go to my main source of all information - Matty. After all Matty was in fourth grade and understood these things. Matty explained that strange gods meant anyone above God, vain meant cussing, honor meant obey, adultery meant kissing anyone you were not married to, bear false witness meant lie, and covet meant wanting something that wasn't yours. As I began to understand the Ten Commandments I knew I was in trouble. I explained to Matty that Grandpa Pat and Garry Cooper had pardoned me for killing Uncle Joe but Matty said no that was number one putting false gods before God. I said "Garry Cooper's a false god"? And what about being on the lam from the police for a whole day? I knew that was bad, but I didn't see it covered in the ten.
I decided I was just going to skip confession. It was only once a month and I was already pretty good at playing sick. Sitting next to Mary Kay had taught me a lot about controlling body functions and it was paying off. So I did. The first four months confession came up I just stayed home. But I realized I hadn't thought this through. Sins were starting to accumulate and mom was catching on. I was going to have to confess about skipping confession and lying to my mom and Sister Mary Francis and then I still had the murder and being on the lam and I was going to have to say this was my first confession five months later than I should have.
I finally had to suck it up and go to confession. I sat with my classmates dreaded getting Fr. Labaj the pastor. As I sat in the confessional and said this was my first confession Father Gomez corrected me and said this was not my first confession. What a relief - Father Gomez barely understood English and I figured what he didn't know couldn't hurt so I didn't correct him. I just poured it all out including the murder and hiding from the police and I thought I heard some choked laughter coming from his side. He gave me three Hail Marys' and one Our Father which I thought was pretty light for murder but hey I wasn't the priest.