Are You Sure...

You know those rare times, when you are aware that you have to get up and move, and you only have a few moments to be in the state you are in. And you are in this awareness zone in those few fleeting moments, fully conscious of the fact that time is passing away. Well, I am right now in one of those moments.

I am lying here, in conflict with myself, listening to the lull hymns of nothingness around me, wondering about what is real.

Did I really see what I think I saw? Could it be possible! Or was it a dream? And how long have I been lying here. I am pretty sure it was a nightmare, just had a bad dream. I am chickening out, nothing else. I should clear my head. I should focus.

"Are you sure it's not real!!!"

I don't know what is more unsettling. The crackling coldness of the silence around me being shattered by this high pitched voice or the fact that this voice seems to be coming from inside me.

I need to stay calm. It's all in my head. Here I am in my own house, in my own bed. There's nothing out there. I have this portrait of God hanging above my head. I look at it intently and try to gather some courage. I keep looking at it, and slowly it dawns upon me, that my God is within me too and as long as He resonates from my being, I am safe.

"Do you really think so? If you have so much faith in Him, why don't you come out for a little stroll and we shall see if you are really safe"

This time I am sure the voice was coming from inside my head. The same high pitched crackle, leaving me shivering with cold sweat. Against my best judgement, I finally got up from the bed and started walking towards the verandah. There's a glass window next to the door of the verandah through which I peeked. Pitch black darkness, not a sound, absolute void. I slowly opened the door and before i could step out, a blast of cold air hit me.

With every strand of hair in my body standing, I started praying in my head and stepped out. The verandah was huge, so there was quite a bit of ground to cover. With slow unsure steps, I moved till the edge and turned around. I could see everything from here, my eyes accustomed to the darkness by now.

The entire verandah was empty, there was no breeze, as if someone had sucked all the air out of the place and yet i could feel the chill in the air, piercing through me. The door stood open as I had left it, with the vast silent verandah spread in-between. Never before had the night seemed so still. I shook my head and started walking back in. After a few steps i stopped, somewhere halfway between the edge and the door. I had this phantom feeling that something moved behind me. I slowly turned at that spot towards the edge and even before I could register what I saw, I found myself in my bed.

Did I really see what I think I saw? Could it be possible! Or was it a dream? And how long have I been lying here. I am pretty sure it was a nightmare, just had a bad dream. I am chickening out, nothing else. I should clear my head. I should focus.

"Are you sure it's not real!!!"