Dinosaur Nurse

At this point in my pediatric nursing career, I am considered one of the “seasoned” ones. We have also been called the dinosaurs, the oldies, the seniors, etc. I remember when I was new and young. There was no greater joy than to sit in a rocking chair and hold a sick baby. I confess that I still like it but I may fall asleep in the rocking chair now. I remember when I could do 4 12-hour shifts in a row without much difficulty so that I could have a long weekend off to party. Now I can barely get through 2 12-hour shifts in a row to crawl home and sleep for 12 hours. I cannot remember when my feet didn’t hurt. I cannot remember when I last looked in the mirror and didn’t see bags under my eyes. Gray hair, varicose veins, crow’s feet, sore back, and torn rotator cuff are all signs of an aging nurse, a dinosaur.

We are the dinosaurs. Nothing fazes us. We have seen it all. Blood, vomit, diarrhea, pus, gaping infected surgical wounds with packing up to your elbows, obnoxious residents, pompous physicians, dedicated doctors who never go home, transplant surgeons who stay up all weekend in the OR, interns who know everything (until they are taken down by a dinosaur nurse), brave kids with cancer, whiny teenagers with constipation, grateful tearful parents, demanding controlling angry parents, autistic unpredictable boys, sullen suicidal girls, kids on MEGA narcotics, kids refusing Tylenol, kids who can’t poop, kids who can’t stop pooping, kids who can’t pee, kids who won’t drink, kids who suck water out of the faucet, kids with their bladders on the outside, kids with missing parts or extra parts, kids with ostomies, g-tubes g-j tubes, chest tubes, central lines, catheters, drains, wound vacs, Mitrofanoffs, prosthetics, AFO’s, shunts, PD caths, HD caths, Port-a-caths. Kids who can’t eat, kids who won’t eat, kids who have no bowels, kids with no veins, big kids in diapers, little kids in wheelchairs, kids who won’t give up, kids who won’t get up, kids who through themselves on the floor, kids who have smothering parents, kids whose parents drop them off for the weekend, kids who are rude, kids who are sweet, kids who hate everything, kids who love everyone, kids who like X-box, kids who like Playstation, kids who read, kids who like music, kids who hack computers, kids with Iphones, kids with Ipads, kids with feeding pumps, kids with IV poles, kids with beeping pumps, kids with alarms and bells, kids who color, kids who like glitter, kids who are afraid of clowns, kids who meet celebrities, babies who are too small, big kids who are too big, kids who are puffy, kids who are bony, kids who are hungry, kids who are nauseous, kids who are ghostly, kids who are yellow, kids who are itchy, parents who want too much, parents who ask for nothing, kids who are waiting, waiting for kidneys, waiting to get better, waiting to die, waiting for parents, waiting for parents to leave them alone, waiting to go home, waiting to eat, waiting to drink, waiting to go somewhere, waiting to go nowhere, kids waiting for pain medicine, parents waiting for news, parents waiting for kids, kids waiting for parents, kids waiting for nurses, nurses waiting for doctors, doctors waiting for parents, parents waiting for doctors, nurses waiting for pharmacy, nurses hoping for lunch, nurses hoping to pee, nurses worried about kids, nurses worried about nurses, nurses talking to parents, parents yelling at nurses, phones ringing, alarms ringing, TV’s playing, people talking, floor buffing, parents crying, babies crying, babies screaming, babies laughing, nurses crying, nurses laughing at babies, nurses laughing at nurses, nurses laughing at doctors, nurses at computers, nurses on the phone, nurses running, nurses with coffee, nurses with giant water bottles, nurses with dehydration, nurses with cookies, nurses with salad, nurses who are fast, nurses who are slow, nurses at the huddle, nurses in the med room, nurses everywhere, nurses nowhere to be found, nurses checking PN, nurses giving insulin, nurses looking for equipment, nurses looking for linen, nurses looking for a pen, nurses looking for meds, nurses looking for a nurse, nurses looking for a doctor, nurses looking for a patient, nurses looking for a parent, nurses looking for a chair, nurses looking for help, nursing looking for a switch, nurses looking for a trade, nurses who are silly, nurses who are angry, nurses who drink coffee, nurses who drink tea, nurses who are loud, nurses who are quiet, nurses who are pregnant, nurses who love kids, nurses who have kids, nurses who are kids, nurses who are old, nurses who are done, nurses who just want to go home now.