Emotions

Day turns into night
Night turns into dark
An overwhelming cloud
That can never be escaped.
A darkness that surrounds
Leaving one with nothing
To see except
Death
Death,
And death to face again.
Time and time again
Being told you can’t feel a
Certain way, just because
You’ve learned to hold it all in
Walking around with a blank
Stare on your face
Trying to keep everyone
Else at an arms length away
Trying to keep yourself
Above drowning water.
When the sun seems to shine
Everything becomes an act
Leaving others
Unsure of how to react
What you hold dear always seems
To fade in the middle of the night
As dark turns into day.
Nightmares that have come and gone
Seem so unimportant as feelings of
Betrayal,
Pain,
Anger,
Shock,
And disappointment fill your head.
Why did you go and
Let them do that again.
You should have known better
Than to let them all in
A never ending feud only
Really leaving one to get hurt
By choices that she never would
Have made.
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock
Day turns into night
And night becomes the dark
The thoughts are back wondering
Why I always have to feel this way.
Maybe its just me
But then I look around and see
That things aren’t always what they seem
Pain,
Hurt,
Betrayal,
Anger,
And shock are feeling I find within
Mostly at myself, wondering how
I ended back at square one
That’s it. I’m done just like
I feel I can’t go on
Then I sit and wonder
About the ones that truly care
It’s funny that the people who really make you matter
Are the ones that haven’t always been there for the battle
But they help make the world
Seem so gentle to give you the push
To keep moving on
The strength to keep fighting
And the love that never seems to fade
With a smile on your face
Every time you hear my voice
Makes me feel like you were
Brought her to help me find the love
A battle that I fight
Every single day and night
As I fight this addiction
That never seems to break
I'm falling, failing and not sure
What else to do and then
I see your sweet face and
I know I have to fight
Because I cant become a
Disappointment like so many
That have disappointed me.
Being in your presence makes
Life seem so easy when there’s
A war each and every day.
At a young age you don't think
About the bad you only
See the good
Until untold things begin to happen.
You try to tell the truth
Yet no one understands
What your truly trying to say
So things get left undone
And the one who hurt you
Walks around a free man
As if he never did nothing in this world
Walks around with no regrets
Or no conscious of what he did
To a girl as young as me
Then you come out with
The truth yet again
Only for him to falter
And make himself look like the
Victim in this shattering situation.
Now everyone believes you just made it up
And blame it on the feud that
Happened before I was born
It became the excuse for a
Story they believe to
Be a cold hearted fantasy
That wasn’t a lie yet
Nothing but the truth
And as I sit here the feeling of
Anger,
Pain,
Betrayal,
Shock,
And disappointment fill my head
That you would even thing
I made that up
But it doesn’t matter anymore because
I’m done
Done being torn between the two
I am who I am so love me for me
And not who you want or
Expect me to be
Love me for me because
I cant be who I’m not
Cant change the way
I look or talk and with
One thing for sure
I didn’t ask to be here
Yet I’m here because this is
Where God wanted me to be
So stop all the feuding,
The hiding, and just keep everything
Straight with me because
At the end of the day
When night turns into dark
I'm the one who ends up hurt
Who ends up feeling
Anger,
Pain,
Betrayal,
Shock,
And disappointment,
Knowing how hard I try to
Keep these unwanted feelings at bay.