Alpaca-lypse

Nobody expected it to be like this.

It's all GNN's fault, those bastards. Global Net Nourishment - they screwed everything up, though honestly, we were screwed to begin with.

See, by 2045 humanity had grown to 14 billion, far outpacing all projections. The Earth just couldn't handle it. I could go on about the CO2 storms that suffocated tens of thousand in Hong Kong and Rio de Janeiro in minutes, or the spread of hyper-allergies, or the sudden meteoric increase in terminal cancers. I could talk about the flooding in California and along the Gulf Coast, the outbreak of Neo-Bubonic in Eastern Europe, or the nuclear failure in Pyongyang, but in truth nothing mattered so much as the food shortages.

It was around 2048 that the pollution began to kill off almost all varieties of vegetation on Earth. The only thing that did seem to flourish was a new type of poisonous spider grass, which spread like wildfire across every available surface. With the turning of the second half of the 22nd century, the Malthusians were finally proved right. Humanity was starving, the animals were starving, cannibalism and anarchy broke out in masse in societies all around the world, and the surface of Earth was looking more and more like a giant never-ending golf course.

Then in 2052 the GNN convened a global summit, a united think tank to tackle the single greatest threat to humanity in history. It was Chilean scientist Mario Rojas who came up with the solution. By genetic manipulation, he had been able to make alpacas stomach the new poisonous spider grass. While he was at it, he drastically increased their metabolic rate by four hundred percent, increased their litter size from 2-3 to 10-15 pups, and decreased their gestation period from several months to just under a week.

They started off modifying just over 500 alpacas. In less than a year, all of Chile and most of the surrounding countries were full to the brim with them. In two years, the whole world was covered. They ate the spider grass as fast as it could grow. We all thought it wonderful at first, the impossible hunger crisis had been averted! We had alpaca steak, alpaca burgers, alpaca milk, alpaca yogurt, alpaca chili, alpaca ice cream, and alpaca tar tar for gods sake.

Soon all of our textile factories were only producing alpaca wool products, and our petrochemicals industry was using alpaca hoofs instead of petroleum to produce of most plastics. Yet, no matter how many we killed off, how many we ate and broke down for our multitudinous needs, the alpaca population kept growing at an uncontrollable rate. Soon, it surpassed our own population. Then it grew some more, without any sign of stopping.

With their enormous birthrate, unending source of spider grass for food, and an unusual tendency towards mutation, their evolution took place on a scale never seen before. They adapted better than we and our technology ever could. It was with giddiness that we watched the first pod of amphibious alpacas leap in concert through through the toxic oceans, it was with wonder that we saw the first winged alpacas take flight, and it was with ever-growing awe that we began to communicate with the first hyper-intelligent alpacas, which would soon form the Quadrupedal High Council.

The takeover was fast. Their runners and fliers and swimmers, now evolved beyond all recognition, overtook our defenses before we even had a thought to bolster them. Their hooves, like an impending earthquake, trampled everything in their path. Resistance groups were formed, we tried to take our civilization back, but, led by brilliant commanders, they outmaneuvered us at every turn.

Humanity was quickly rounded up into herds, our fate at the mercy of the newly formed alpaca ruling class. These rulers are the newest form of evolved alpaca, similar to the hyper-intelligent alpacas on the High Council, but different in certain ways. They stand on two legs, have sharp teeth that extend beyond their lips, and eye us with distain... or is it hunger?

We think it was they who ordered the attack on humans. The world is now theirs, and they do not seem to want to share it.

The Alpaca-lypse has begun.