Romancing the 4th Wall

"So this is supposed to be a romance?"

"Seems so."

"Well that's not going to happen. You're gross and your breath smells."

"At least you're not judging me based on my bank account."

"I refuse to play into a female stereotype. So what now?"

"I don't know. We only have 300 words to conclude it in. And 3 of them have to be puzzle, shine and bridge. Oh, I guess I just used them. That's something less to worry about."

"Why?"

"Rules of some stupid writing contest."

"What happens at the end of the 300 words?"

I cringed. I didn't want to answer that.

"Are we going to DIE!?"

"Everyone dies eventually."

"But not after just 300.... wait, QUIT TALKING! WE'RE USING THEM UP!"

We spent the next 4 hours just staring at each other. But even describing this without dialogue used some up.

"So then. Do you love me yet?" I asked.

"Of course not! You shortened my lifespan 3% by asking that!"

"Better to have loved and lost..."

"No! No it isn't! Shut up!"

"We could have a kid together to carry on the legacy."

"Would it die at the end of the 300 words too?"

"It would still be part of the story. So yes."

"Then it wouldn't carry on any legacy!"

"That's true."

"How many are left?"

"Seventy nine. Seventy seven now. Seventy four. Sixty eight including these."

"Stop that!"

"Sorry."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"So you like me now?"

"Not exactly, but we need a fairy tale kiss at the end that lasts forever in the story timeline. It's the only way!"

"That's a good idea," I said.

"Shut up and do it!"

We kissed. She tasted like peppermint. Also she decided maybe I didn't smell so bad after all. Happily ever after.