Go Ahead, Say It

“Sugar, Honey, Iced Tea!” Some may recognize this as being a substitute for a popular expletive commonly used to express surprise or anger. It is just one of the myriad of euphemisms Americans use in their efforts to avoid using profanity. But has anyone ever wondered why certain words are not considered to be socially acceptable? It really speaks poorly of the priorities of our culture when we expect for mature adults to say things like “dang it” or “cockadoodie” rather than the timeless expletives that would drive their point home so much more efficiently.
When you come right down to it, the profane utterances—like their insufficient counter-parts—are nothing more than substandard English. And, if one is going to incorporate such language into their daily discourse, it only seems appropriate that they should utilize the genuine articles. In other words, if it is your intent to condemn a supreme being, then do so. Cleaning it up by saying something childish like “gosh darn” merely indicates an inability on the part of the speaker to say what is really on his or her mind.
There are some times when the puritanical stand-ins simply do not fit the situation. For example, in the army, soldiers may spend an inordinate amount of time on field training exercises during which time they are required to live for extended periods in the woods. Whenever someone feels the need to defecate—a word many find to be as offensive as the expletive typically used to express the act—it is out of context to utter the politically correct “I have to use the restroom” when one is in the middle of a deciduous forest. GIs will say, rather, “I gotta take a dump.” Naturally, many choose to use the other term generally associated with this particular bodily function, and would sound utterly ridiculous saying a “sugar, honey, iced tea.”
The bedroom of two passionate lovers is yet another arena in which one feels compelled to tell it like it is, as it were. Most people might think it inappropriate if, while in the throes of passion, they were to hear “Oh copulate! Copulate!” And I’m afraid “make love” doesn’t quite cut it here either. No, such emotional circumstances virtually cry out (no pun intended) for emotional expressions. And, when all is said and done, isn’t that really all profanity does—express emotion?
It is often said that the use of profanity merely indicates ignorance. If that were indeed the case, it is doubtful that it would be such a popular facet of the English language. Indeed, there are many who number themselves among the best and the brightest in this culture who—when they believe the cameras to be off—use profanity with the expertise of a sailor. And why do such erudite individuals include such banal speech additives in their daily conversation? Many times the reason is one of linguistic necessity. Their point simply cannot be made properly through any other means.
It is not being advocated here that the use of profanity is for all occasions. It would be totally inappropriate, for instance, if the president’s state of the union address were to be inundated with four-letter words. It does seem, however, that some of the stereotypes commonly held in connection with those whose language is filled with colorful metaphors should be exposed as just that—stereotypes.
A wise individual once said, “If you don’t say what you mean, it’s impossible to mean what you say.” These are certainly words to live by. So, the next time you come within inches of stepping on a poisonous snake or make the mistake of disturbing a hornets’ nest, don’t take time out to discuss iced tea and its condiments. Say what’s really on your mind. You just might feel better.