Someone Else

the heaviest weight that I have carried is the skin that I am wearing

I can already feel my insides beginning to burst forth
hiding all these feelings will only make it worse
the pain of surviving, it becomes too much to bear
all you know is that it can’t be hidden by your hair
as it falls in your face and you look to the floor
desperately searching for something more
something else
something new
something you know that can’t be found
because giving up this fight is not an option, not allowed

but for you
protruding hip bones don't mean beauty
they mean perfection
no, the two are not equivalent
an emotional defection
you see the way they look
you feel it in their stare
when the wind blows you back
and straw makes up your hair
unsatisfied
amnesiac
the mirror shows you what you lack
forgetting how you looked yesterday
lost in the betrayal of your reflection
not knowing who you are today
stuck in a permanent state of rejection
knowing only one thing
that you’re not good enough
but if you stop fighting
you might never wake up

the air, it is suffocating
the fire, it is infiltrating
filling my lungs with every breath,
secretly whispering sweet words of death
until the whispers become screams
and I'm longing to be someone different
someone else
someone new
because maybe if I were
I would know what to do