The Girl Behind the Mask

Yesterday the girl had a confrontation with her family. Someone discovered she was self-harming and turned her in. Her parents found out. She was scared, because she knew what was coming. Her parents screamed at her. They said she was seeking attention; that she didn’t mean any of it. When they finally got serious and asked ‘do you need help,’ she answers, ‘I’m fine. I do not need it.’ But is she really?

Outside, she says she is fine. She says that is was just one time. But was it really? Will she do it again? Probably...what her parents don’t know is that she’s done it before. It wasn’t the first time. She has five ugly lines on her wrist now that are slowly fading away. People say she has anxiety, she has depression, but she brushes it off. ‘It’s not true. I don’t have that,’ she tells herself. Only her few closest friends know the truth, but even then she denies to herself. ‘It’s not true. I don’t have that,’ she repeats over and over. ‘It’s not true. I don’t have that’

But inside do you know what she is thinking? Inside she has fleeting thought all the time; thoughts of suicide. They are not serious thoughts; just a ‘hey drugs could kill someone.’ Or an ‘I wonder how dying would feel.’ Now, whenever she sees a blade, even if it’s not a serious thought, she thinks of self-harm. She thinks about how it feels dragging the blade across her skin. Inside she fights with herself. She tells the world she’s fine, but she tells herself that she is not. She believes she may be insane. She hears voices in her head that tell her to do bad things to herself. The scary thing is, it’s her own voice telling her to do it.

She wants to start over, just repeat her life and make things right, but she can’t. She is stuck in her own head. She begins to doubt her friends, her faith, and her future. All she does is doubt. She believes that there is no bright, happy future ahead of her. But aloud, she tells the world she’s fine. She does not need help. It’ll all blow over soon. Because that’s true, isn’t it? It’s all just a phase that will go away. She doesn’t need help. She just needs to get her shit together, right?
Her friends say she needs help. They say that she should take off the mask she hides behind. But she can’t. Why? Because she’s afraid. She’s afraid of change, afraid of what people will say, afraid that her parents will just blow up at her again. So she just keeps the mask on, and continues her suffering in silence.

That is the girl behind the mask. So if someone says they’re fine. Don’t believe them. Please, don’t give up on them because they need you. They need someone. The girl or boy inside is begging someone to help. Don’t leave them to suffer alone.