The Other Way Round

The Other Way Round by Rory Smith.
I enclose this letter written by someone in the future, about a mistake for the opening ceremony of the 2200 Nations and Universe Games..

Mickey Carter
12 Galactic Avenue
Moon City
Moon Base
President
2200 Nations and Universe Games
Cardiff.
Dear Madam,
I am writing to apologise to the 2200 Nations and Universe Games committee for Cardiff. We made a terrible mistake for the opening ceremony for your games. As you know the Nations and Universe games is the largest sports event in the galaxy, that has overtaken the Olympics and Commonwealth Games in popularity with species and creatures from all over the universe and nations of our planet.
You paid us to provide a magnificent opening ceremony for your games at the 220,000 capacity Princess Millennia Stadium, Cardiff.
Unfortunately at the same time we had been asked to provide the entertainment for a stag night for part time football player, of pub side Cardiff Red Rover Stars, Gareth Rush Evans.
As you saw me made a terrible mistake and got the two events a little bit mixed up.
For the stag night we provided, live performances by all the top 5 best selling pop stars of the last 10 years, a 2 hour dance and firework routine encompassing the culture of Wales and of all over the universe performed by a trained team of 3000, plus choreographers from all over the universe. A 1 hour choreographed history of Wales. Who can forget the fight between a 70 ft tall Welsh dragon robot, and 20 ft Merlin robot? We followed this up with lighting a flame by a trapeze artist jumping over a torch while carrying fire. Then speeches by the Presidents of the USA, the European Union, Antarctica, China, Japan, Russia, Poland, Brazil, India, Australia, and of the African Republic.

Unfortunately for the actual Nations and Universe Games all we provided in front of the watching TV audience of billions, was a 20 minute strip show from a well known erotic dancer from Neath, then 20,000 lap dancers to dance in the stands for the crowd. This was followed by a 10 minute speech by Gareth Rush Evans’s best friend who told the anecdote about the time Gareth got his penis stuck in the end of a traffic cone. Then for each member of the audience, provided was kebab and chips, 10 lagers, a bottle of scotch, 3 ciders, a bottle of Polish wine, and chaining every single one of the crowd naked to a lamppost at five o’clock past midnight.
We followed this up with a man lighting the Nations and Universe Games torch by breaking wind over a match.

We apologise for any mistakes made in this accidental mix up. And promise if you hire us again we will not make the same mistake again. It should have been 2 bottles of scotch for every member of the audience.


Yours
Mickey Carter

The South Welsh Super Duper Entertainment Company