serenity

Chapter 1

The cold, harsh presence of winter looked back at me as I stared at it through the cold shielded glass window of the train. Winter had its grasp on the land now and it showed--the grey landscape is a mere shadow now; old, weak, perhaps dead, maybe? I never truly understood the meaning of death, call me a child but even up till now, as old as I am, I don't fully know whether trees truly die in the winter or if they just hibernate. Although, perhaps I can be saved by the statement that I made before, that I don't understand death.

Life itself is a mystery, it's a crazy thing to think about sometimes, and personally I prefer not to dwell on it for too long, for if I seek too far in I might just find death itself staring back at me. Not in the core of life, not even in it, but as something in its exterior, something that surrounds it, not allowing it to escape its clutches, for it may be bigger and stronger than life. But then again, what do I know?

A bell is rung, hitting different notes, artistically spaced out. It's not a hard or loud tone, but rather soft and almost silent, just enough to break the the silence filling the train cart. A woman's voice comes through the speakers; her voice is professional, direct but soothing. "Arriving at Cyan, Cyan station. Please gather your belongings and, or children, as the doors will open on the right. Thank you."

It'd been so long since I've been back to this city, but to be honest I never planned on coming here--it was never my intention to come back. I had found a stable life elsewhere, but I had received a call from a relative's that an incident, if you can call it that, had happened. These relatives aren't my family, but they may as well be--they are as important to me as a mother, father, sister or brother.

Once my things were gathered I made my way to the door as the train came to a halt. Before the hydraulics slid the doors open I took a deep breath of air, anticipating and preparing for the rush of nostalgia that I was sure to be bombarded with once leaving.

My desired destination wasn't within the city, so with haste I made my way out of the station, through the crowded streets, out the guard gates and into the wide open. The world as it once was is no more. Instead of countries, there are only cities, very large cities, that are scattered around. There was no one to command and rule the outside terrain, the only rule that governs these lands is ''survival of the fittest.'' Or so they say but people don't really tend to venture outside anymore--the only people you'd find are merchants, bandits and people of that sort.

Well, the thing is, there is one other person you'd find here, not too far out from the gates. They call her The Witch of the West. She's known to be wicked, nasty, mean, old, and anything and everything that people can think of. The truth is, she's a kind old woman who lives her days alone and in peace, she does, however, know her fair share of magic. She looks awfully old, with wrinkles, skin stretch marks, sleepy eyes and she's probably obese, but don't let that fool you, she was once a great threat, and still is. In her younger days she worked as the Royal Diviner--a very powerful wizard.

She lived in a shabby two story house in the middle of the forest. I've tried to convince her that living in such conditions can ruin her once gloryful reputation but she does not fraught.

As I grew closer to her home, I notice that it's in worse shape than before-- it's tilting to the left!

"Honestly...," I sigh.

Although there was something else that took me by surprise, the front door. It was all wood and no window, perhaps the newest addition to the house since I've been back. It looks foreign; strong, fully intact, bright white, it's the magnum opus of the house-- just a regular door.

Before taking a step further onto the stairs, I look upto the grey clouds that loom just above me. They look fragile in a way, as if they're about to burst. It's kind of fitting, knowing the situation. Just then the newly placed door opens wide as I am greeted by that old woman that I love so dearly.

"It's been awhile hasn't it?" I greet her with a smile.

"If you'd come and visit more often it wouldn't be," she quickly replied. She turned her back on me and walked back inside, not giving me a chance to defend myself.

With every step that I take, the wooden floor cracks and sends shrieking echo throughout the house. she leads me into her kitchen, where she has a table already set with tea and some sweet bread. She takes a sit and nods her head in the direction of the other chair, signaling me to sit.

"Lovely weather we're having, huh?" I try to start a conversation. It's been so long since we've seen each other, but it feels like I never left. I grew up here, and she looked after me. In a way you could say she's my mother, but at the same time it feels awkward, seeing as how I haven't spoken a word to her in ages, I don't know what to say.

"I'm surprised you can still make a joke like that, seeing as how things are," she dodged my question.

"It hit me by surprise but, you know what they say, just keep on moving," I say but with no enthusiasm at all, in fact, you could hear my emotions leaking out as I tried to finish my sentence.

"No matter what you say, your face shows otherwise," she consoles me, "even if you smile I know you're in pain. Only sad people are able to smile from ear to ear you know--they try to mask their sorrow under it, knowing that it only makes things worse. That's why you should stop. You know it pisses me off when a person I care about is hurting themselves."

I repent my actions and apologies. It's always been like this between Granny, as I called her, and I, she's always been straightforward with me and I only seem to mess up somehow, that's the reason why I moved out--I was tired of making others worry.

Just then a bright flash of light came thundering from the clouds above, and with it came a loud cracking sound. So it's begun to rain. The loud noise has awoken something, something that I haven't heard in ages, a sound so nostalgic and saddening that I nearly fell of my chair.

"So, that's the reason?" I quickly put my attention back on Granny. She doesn't say a word, but nods and takes a sip of her tea. "Jesus Christ," I began to draw the sign of the cross as I finally understood what I had gotten myself into. I'm not a religious person by any means, but I just didn't know what else to do.

"I'm too old now, you know. And Conor is too busy with his duties to do anything about it. You had the best connection with her so rung you up." She says. It's all coming way too fast at me, just what the hell am I supposed to think or do or say in a situation like this. "Knowing you, you're probably panicking and overthinking things. But before you make any judgement, I want you to see him for yourself, Sarah's child."

"So it's true then, what you told me. I can't believe this is actually happening."

"I don't know why you're surprised, I told you beforehand." I can't believe how calm she is.

"I know but... It's surreal finally being so close. I mean, just upstairs remains the last living fragment of--"

"Don't think too much about it, besides I'm raising a brat isn't hard. Look, I raised two, you and Conor. Well one turned out better than the other but hey," she shrugs, clearly I am 'the other.'

We made our way up the crooked stairs and into a small, dimly light room. There, in the center of it all was an infant's bed, and in it was a crying infant, perhaps a month or two old. Its face was red from all the crying and its hands were in a tight fist. Lush black hair traveled to its shoulder. Beautiful green eyes could be seen through the clear tear drops.

"She looks just like her," I mutter under my breath, but just loud enough for Granny to hear. As I try and comfort the weeping child, the clouds finally burst and it begins to pour heavily outside. The noise frightens her even more and she begins to cry even louder.

I can't explain why, but seeing how full of life she was made me remember her mother, Sarah. Just like this child she was never one to hide her feelings; she cried whenever she was sad; she got angry when she was mad; and smiled brightly whenever she was happy. She was my friend from way back, a friend that only comes once in a lifetime... but someone as stupid as I could never match her, and so I let her escape my grasp, not that I ever had a chance to begin with.

A second cracking sound ripped through the atmosphere, bringing me back to reality.

"Honestly, I don't know if I can do this Gran. I mean... ugh, I just really don't think I can," I say.

"If not you, then we're thinking of putting him up for adoption. Money isn't flowing here anymore," she insists. "I wasted my retirement money raising certain brutes who preferred to stand against 'injustice,' than putting their minds into something useful like studying. Honestly, you and Conor aren't even related, but somehow the resemblance between you two is impeccable."

She laid out the truth all over the table, not allowing me to even defend myself. "It was all in the name of the king. It's not like people like we even had a chance in academia compared to those callous, conceited, burgher bastards," I swear a blood vessel popped.

"But look where that's gotten you," she lit her pipe and took a deep puff. "You caused the people around you great distress. I can't count the amount of sleepless nights I had whenever you left for a job. And now Conor, too? I swear I'll die of distress before I die of lung cancer. Besides, it's not like the king is around anymore to pay your wages--Conor calls it voluntary work. Work my ass."

...

"Where are you working now anyways?"

"I got myself a stable job as a chef in Solaris, down in the south."

"I know where that is... small and quiet isn't it?" She took another puff, but this one not as deep, but I still covered the child's face. "By the way, 'she' is a boy."

"No way, but he looks so much like Sarah."

"Either way, whether he's a boy or girl, you'll find out for yourself soon enough," she chuckles. "The child is yours, you can leave now. I know you don't like staying here for too long so I'll leave you at that. I got somewhere to be." Just as she turns her back to me I finally open my mouth--my only chance to defend myself.

"It's not like I don't like coming and seeing you guys. I just... get some bad memories from Cyan."

...

"I'll make sure to visit you more often from now on. Besides, Azura has every right to know his family."

"Azura? Spirit of the sky?"

"Yeah, I've decided on that name."

Granny chuckles, "fitting name for a child of a psych. He hasn't shown any signs of powers, so maybe you might have it easy, seeing as he could be a regular human."

"It doesn't matter, I think, raising a child, psych, enchanter or human, is all the same."

"Well for your sake, you better hope he stays human. I'll be off now, Conor said he needed my help with something. Unlike you, he's also inconsiderate. I'm too old to be bossed around, doesn't he see that? Anyways, I'll take you up on your offer then, next time you come by, I'll make sure to gather everyone and prepare a feast, for you and that boy."

"Yeah. I won't say goodbye, rather, see you later?"

She takes on last puff and within the cloud of white mist she disappears, leaving me with a now, sound asleep child caressed with my arms.

"I guess it's just you and me, huh Azura?" I say whilst smiling at his angelic sleeping figure.