Today was a bad day

Today is a bad day. Some days are worse than others. Nothing happens to change the way I feel. Everyone says the right thing. But today is a bad day.

I woke up to smiles and kisses. We cuddled and hugged. The kids were on their best behavior. But today is a bad day.

I put on my face and dressed a little nicer. I smiled at everyone and looked happy as ever. But today is a bad day.

I know to the stranger at the store I look like I have it all together. I'm smiling and laughing. We look like a happy family. But today is a bad day.

When we get home , I break down. My kids don't realize what mommy's going through. They think I'm just tired after our long day. But today is a bad day.

I crawl in bed and stare at the wall. Think about all the things I did wrong today. I could be a better parent. I could get up and just be happy. But today is a bad day.

As bedtime approaches and the darkness comes nearer I feel like I'm suffocating. The tears stain my pillow. My heart hammers in my chest. I wish it would all end. But today is a bad day.

No one sees the demons that plague me. Voices tell me I'm worthless. I feel like no one cares. Today is a bad day.

This is life with depression. My mind is in a constant battle. I have to actively fight myself every day. Some days I just can't win. Today was a bad day.