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'Parody' of a famous Christmas Poem |
'Twas the kNight before Christmas (U.K. "wHereWolph'D" version) 'Twas the kNight before Christmas, when all through the House of Windsor kNot a single creature was stirring, not even a mouse nor minister The stockings were hung by the Throne with a hangman's noose In hopes that St. Nicholas would corral the Nazis on the loose The Nazis were nestled all snug in their illegal quasi-states While visions of sugar-plumbed Euros redefined their fates And Mamma in Her Crown and I in my kNight capture Had each just settled down for a long winter's rapture When out of the middle of nowhere arose quite the clutter-brain That made everyone leap off their box to see who was so insane And away to the tele everyone flew, so resembling Flash Gordon Burning their hooded sheets, upon hearing the dodecachordon With the nightly moon glaring off the tear-filled faces of the fallen Nazis Added to the lustre of a mid-day shine on the Subjects, their patsies When, what to their wondering eyes should suddenly appear But a mini-bus and eight not-so-tiny Reigns; oh dear! Driven by a pranky lil toad, quite lively and quick on the wit All knew in a flash it must be St. Nick on a pogo-stick But more rapid than photons, his corsairs they came And he croaked then farted, while calling them by name "Now, Francis! Now, Albert! Now, Henri and Margrethe! 0n, Harald! 0n, Carl! 0n, Willem-Alexander and Philippe! To the top of the Palace! To the utmost top! Bee the gArg0yle! Now fly aWay! Do fly aWay! Fly aWay and do foil the boil!" As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane would scurry When they bump into a Nazi, just snicker at their worry So on to Parliament the wild corsairs they so flew With their sleighs full of torture toys and St. Nick too And hidden in the sprinkle of a tinkle, as heard on their shingles Were the prancing's and pawning's of the corsair's maniacal jingles As they drew in their last free breath and were turning around Down the chimney St. Nick came, looking more like a hound It was covered all in fur, from its head down to its foot With glaring teeth, all tarnished with specks of caput And armed with a bundle of torture toys flung over its back It looked more like a smoker, after opening their fag pack Its eyes ... how they twinkled! Its dimples ... what a scary mole! With lips dripping like bloody roses and eyes blacker than coal Its drooling snarl-drawn mouth was turned-up like a smile And the whiskers on their chins, ghosted white from the vile The stump of a chump was tightly held in its daggerish teeth As the smoke encircled its head, like an angelical wreath It laughed at them trembling with fear, like a bilge full of jelly With quite the wide berth, from way over-eating at the deli It spoke not a single noun nor verb, but went straight to the perks Pilfering their stockings and pantry, while mind-fucking the jerks Then whilst laying its middle finger along-side its bold knows It shoves a cattle prod all the way up their arse until it blows They were plump and juicy little morsels, tantalizingly sweet As they grasped at the realization, their heads hung at their feet Then with a swish of its hips and a twist of their head Soon gave way to the reality the Nazis were all dead Then it sprang to its sleigh, to the team gave a whistle And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle But I heard them all exclaim, ere they flew out of ear MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL ZEROS AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR! https://i.imgsafe.org/a23f72bf69.jpg Riddle of G.A.O.T.U. Giving chase to the long blows And finding only short knows Out of no where comes a breeze That causes every oNe to freeze Unless they pinched their nose "BLESSED are the MEEK, for they shall inherit the earth [from their Nazi captors/enslavers]." - Matthew 5:5 (requoted by Toad) "A patriot to the politics of government is a traitor to the People of the World." - Old Toad Proverb "Nationalism (aka: Nazism) is an infantile disease; it's the measles of mankind." - Albert Einstein "It always takes more time, energy, and patience, to clean-up wrongful actions, than it did to spill them in the first place. So the trick/cheat to avoiding that pitfall is to always drink from a spill-proof cUp and/or keep the hole in your lip plugged appropriately." - Old Toad Proverb "ALL Dictionaries undeniably dictate that "mind" comes before "mouth" but many people do/say/think otherwise, but that's because those people refuse to open their mind before opening their mouth." - Old Toad Proverb "Nothing interferes with my learning [of the truth] more than my formal [government led] education." - Albert Einstein (requoted by Toad) "A cauliflower is nothing more than a cabbage with a college education." - Mark Twain https://i.imgsafe.org/dd16609ba6.jpg Merry Christmas ALL Zer0s! :D Ribbit :) Ps: All of the above is explained by this Post: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/public-notice-brexit-has-been-canceled-due-lack-i... Also, a story has just surfaced that explains what Law-of-Zer0 peeps are TRULY LIKE. Please READ: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38413905 |