A married woman reflects on her decisions in life and how to be happy again |
She stood silently on the beach. The light grey sweater jacket loosely floating in the breeze behind barely holding on by the belt. She knew how it felt- that belt. Trying hard to do what it was meant to do and yet... Failing. She sighed as she grabbed the two ends of the knitted belt and retied her jacket a little more snug this time. The wind was picking up which meant the storm she had been watching out in the ocean for the past hour was closer. She turned towards the two story house behind her. Everyone she knew loved the house from its dark blue siding and white shutters to the tropical garden she had in the front yard. Perfect. It was all perfect they said. Her husband had bought the house for her for their fifth wedding anniversary. His gift to her for sticking by him during the tough times he had said. As if she could do anything else. He was her husband for better or worse. As she walked up the small path to the porch she noticed him in the kitchen Eric still looked like the same man she had met ten years ago. He was meeting with a client about a house and she was waiting tables. Not even a grey hair on his golden head. Unlike her. She had to due her brown hair every month to keep her grey hairs from showing. She smiled as he opened the door for her " Thanks darling. There's a storm coming" " A little rain never hurt anyone." He said locking the door behind her. He moved back over to the black marble countertop to fix his cup of coffee that had just finished brewing " Do you want a cup of coffee? " "No thanks, I'm going to start dinner." "Sounds good" he walked past her to the living room turning on a sports channel Lately she had felt as if something was missing in her life. Sure she had a wonderful marriage and a great house but next month she was going to be thirty and she had nothing to show for it. No great career or charity work. Absolutely nothing. She was a waste upon society. As she mixed ingredients for tonights dinner she couldn't help but to wonder. Where would she be right now?If she hadn't met Eric and concentrated on his goals and his career. She tried to have a career but found she didn't have the patience for other people telling her what to do. She tried owning her own business but she really wasn't an organized person and again there was that lack of patience. An hour later dinner was done and her mood was further south than the keys "Babe what's wrong" Eric asked Heather sighed and pushed the peas around her plate " I'm 30 and Failing at life." "What?! That's ridiculous!" He exclaimed. He was shocked that she felt this way. " No it's not, think about what have I got to show for myself?" She asked angrily "You have a beautiful home,a great marriage, friends..." "Yes I have all of that but of all of that is gone tomorrow what is left? What will people remover me by other than 'she was a great housewife who had a great marriage and a beautiful home and lots of friends' hmm?" She asked spitting his words back at him. Eric was silent as he watched her. He had come to realize in that moment all of the things she had tried for herself but for some reason or another didn't stick with. " You used to love writing? Have you thought of taking that up again?" He asked Heather thought about it. She did enjoy it when she was younger. But then life had gotten in the way. Maybe it was time to take it up again. " You know what I will give it a try!" She said optimistically " Well of your going to do it then you need to do it right. We will need to get you your own computer-" " Laptop." " -We can make one the spare bedrooms onto an office for you so that you have your own quiet space" " I do love you darling. You always know how to make me feel better" " I love you too" six months later Heather walked out of her office. Excited for the first time in months. Her husband had given her a laptop for her birthday and then later on they went to the store to buy supplies for her office. Now her first manuscript was finished and she couldn't wait to show him. " Darling? You home?" she called " I'm in the kitchen!" Eric called back walking into the kitchen she had to stop and laugh sitting in the middle of the floor was their four month old Great Dane puppy Frankie covered nose to tail in mud. Next to him SAT her equally mud covered husband. A rueful grin on his face as he watched her laughing from the floor. " Wh-wh-wh-" she was laughing so hard she couldn't get the words out. "What happened you ask?" He said putting his arm around Frankie's back "Well, picture this. Frankie and I decided to go try out the park over by the new pet store downtown. Perfect opportunity to try out his new harness that we bought today. Which by the way is at the bottom of the pond but I will get to that later. So we park in the shade put on Frankie's new duds and begin our walk. There were only a couple people of the park today because of the heat but Frankie was a blessing to make some new friends, everything was great. Until we got past the shaded part of the path where it goes from tree lined to open up to the benches and picnic tables and the pond. That my dear is when Frankie saw it. The goose from hell. This thing was able to feed a family of ten and all their neighbors. So Frankie being the dog he is decided to protect me and chase off the thing... Unfortunately he didn't drop when the dang bird went into the pond, and he also forgot to let me go! Why are laughing so hard." She collapsed on the floor at the explanation " So let me get this straight. You got scared of the goose again and Frankie went chasing after it and you couldn't stop him before he dragged you in the pond." " The very empty pond that is full of mud thanks to yesterday's rain. That darn goose needs to fly south for the winter like all his friends!" " He did he flew to Florida!" "Well he needs to go farther darn it!" He said trying an failing to stand up on the mud covered tile floor. " Just stay there I will bring you a couple towels and some shorts and you and Frankie can hose off on the porch. Thirty minutes later she had just finished mopping the kitchen floor when Eric came back in still drying his hair from the shower. " So how was your day today?" He asked She looked up at him " I finished my book and I wanted you to read it!" She said smiling. She was nervous but happy to have it completed. " Really! Well where is it?" " Over on the kitchen table" she said pointing to the corner of the room Eric walked over the the table and sat down strapping the towel over his shoulder. Picking up the first page he smiled as he began to read aloud. " The only way you learn is by failure..." |