(Stupid)
Frequently Asked Questions
After heading out
for breakfast, lunch or dinner people have the opportunity to review
their experience. There are comment cards to fill out, we can speak
to the staff or management directly or even out there in the
world-wide web our feelings and opinions, good or bad, can be shared.
How many of us though, working in the industry, wish there was some
way of repaying the favour to our opinionated guests?
Instead of
having words spat at us and smiling, apologising, doing our best to
tame the beast in-front of us, wouldn't it be good if we could
reciprocate. If we could step outside for ten minutes, sit this
person down and tell them of weird and wonderful things in the world
like manners, how to speak to other human beings and how this is the
first time you have seen said person all night; but you can speculate
that their drink will be in the bar and their meal in the kitchen
being prepared so they may cease asking repeatedly.
A follow up to
this fantasy could include a life lesson, helping this person to see
that there are other people not only in the world with needs, but in
this restaurant with needs, similar to theirs and that they are now
not being met thanks to his temper tantrum. Ah, imagination!
Some fun options
could be to hand out 'Handy Hint's' cards as people walk
through the door. There could be a list of 'Frequently Asked
Questions' and the answers provided to simplify the process. Such
as 'Yes there is bacon in the BLT sandwich, also included is
Lettuce and Tomato, please refer to menu in front of you' 'Yes we
have many kids meals, please refer to the Kid's Menu in front of
you' 'The best dish is the one with the $ and the highest numbers
after it, this rule applies more definitely with the wine list,
please refer to menu in front of you' and finally, 'yes, we do
have water'.
Other less
obvious facts that could be added to help our guests experience
regard time management. If you only have half an hour to order, eat,
pay and leave DO NOT under any circumstances order your steak well
done. If you happen to disobey this rule, please refrain yourself
from then asking staff after ten, fifteen, sixteen or even seventeen
minutes 'Where is my food?' I will tell you now, it is in the
kitchen, being ruined to your specified liking; next time order
salad. Also note, when told 'I will just go and ask the kitchen for
you', nine times out of ten, we don't, we do a lap of the
restaurant and come back with a straight face to tell you your well
done steak, has not magically been prepared in the last five minutes.
For those of you
who haven't seen the movie 'Waiting', you may wish to give it a
watch and remember the line that you shouldn't piss off the people
who handle your food. There is a good reason that after you have been
rude to staff they come back at you with more kindness than you can
calculate. That smile isn't always one of true apology and wanting
to make your experience a better one, don't think you have 'made
your point' or 'won' this round. Sometimes it's because lack
of manners and stupid questions can have repercussions that you may
never be aware of. I do hope you enjoy your meal, and on behalf of
all hospitality staff, I thank you for your feedback.
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