a working process

Chapter 1:

As soon as Mum throw the keys down in to the bowl, Sami knew she was home. It had been a weird few months for her, nothing had changed it wasn't like she had moved house or school or even dyed her hair a new colour, everything was exactly the same as they were last year. However, Sami was different, she was sadder, more shut off from the world, more, as Mum would say "anti-social". But it wasn't like she wanted that to happen, she didn't just wake up one morning and think, "today I'm going to end it, take my life, say goodbye to the world and never ever return." It wasn't like that at all. It had been the same as every other day; she woke up, got dressed, went to school and then BAM, she was laying on her bathroom floor motionless, barely breathing. Waiting for it to happen. But it didn't. She didn't do it, not fully. Instead Mum came home, saw her, and rang 999. Within minutes she was rushed to hospital and getting her stomach pumped. A week later she was home, where she was now, standing in her hallway, fixating on every little detail in the room. It was as if she didn't recognise her own house, like she was a Stanger viewing the house for the first time and wondering what she would do to the place if she bought it.

Her thought broke by the sound of Mum coming from the kitchen, "I said that report needed to be in by Friday, today is Wednesday! Where is it?!". That meant that Sami was back to reality, Mum shouting down the phone to some newbie at work, as if she'd forgotten where she had been for the past week. Like that whole week never happened. But it had, it was very real and now she goes straight back to work like it was nothing. Sami stormed upstairs and slammed the door to make a point. Mum probably didn't hear it though, she was in a heated conversation with some boy called Joshua, and how her emails hadn't been working in the hospital so she hadn't received the very important document that she requested.

Mum was a 'very strong lady' apparently, that's what her work friends would always say, but to Sami she was just cold and unwelcoming. She had long bleach blonde hair, dyed of course, because she thought it made her look younger and prettier, although she needed it dying again as you could see the roots coming through, which Sami hated. That was one of the reasons she would never get her hair dyed. Mum's hair was always kept in a bun so it didn't matter what colour or length it was as no one really saw it. She did this as she thought it made her look more professional. This along with the suit that she would always wear made her look like one of Lord Sugars apprentices on her way to get fired. Sami wasn't exactly sure what her job was, something to do with reports and deadlines and clients, but most jobs had something to do with that, so she just didn't ask. To be honest Sami didn't really care and if anyone asked; which they didn't, she would just say "oh my Mum works in business", and that would usually be a substantial answer. One thing that Sami did notice about her Mum was that she never looked relaxed, like she could never just sit down and watch an hour of television, even if it was something to do with business, she always had to be working. This was the biggest strain on hers and Sami's relationship as they didn't have anything in common. It wasn't like they could talk about something they did together or watched together, because they never spent any time together, the only time she would really see her Mum was for half an hour when they ate dinner, and even then, mum would be texting or checking her emails. So, Sami just stayed out of her way and was civil if she ever caught Mum at a spare moment of free time.

Sami laid on her bed and thought about what a hell of a week she had just had. She was slim girl but not too skinny, she ate well and whatever she wanted. She had the deepest blue eyes that she got from her dad and they shone in the sun and sparkled like the sea on a summers day (not that England have many of them), it was a contrast to her very pale skin, it was like she'd never seen the sun, people used to call her Snow White because of how pale her face looked. The freckles on her nose and below her eyes gave her a little bit of colour, so she didn't look exactly like a living vampire. Her hair was straight, shoulder length, and brown like a dark oak, she didn't do much with it, either kept it down and only tied it up when it was windy and or raining, or she had to do P.E at school, but apart from that it was down and straight. She wasn't the loudest of girls, but when she spoke it was like she was listened to most people, except Mum of course. This was due to the fact she hardly spoke in front of more than two people at a time. She wasn't disliked at school and most people knew of her or at least recognised her if they saw her, but mainly she just stayed with a small group of friends she'd had since starting secondary school. School wasn't one of her favourite places, but she liked the fact that she could be whoever she wanted to be, like these people didn't know her, not properly. It wasn't like she'd spend 24/7 with them it was only six hours a day for five days a week. There was only one person in that entire school that Sami trusted; her best friend Grace. She'd known her since they were 4 years old, went to the same primary school and clicked form day one. Grace was the polar opposite to Sami but they just fitted together like a jigsaw puzzle. She was one of the only people that Sami thought about just before she decided that life wasn't worth living anymore, she thought about how Grace would cope, would she be okay. Sure, Grace was a very talkative person, she would make new friends but deep, deep down would she ever really cope. Sami didn't know and for the time being, she was happy that she'd walked back in to school and see Grace's beaming smile one more time.

Sami couldn't believe that she was home again, she was laying on her bed thinking about what her whole family would say:

"That was one stupid thing to do, wasn't it" some aunt she's only met twice would say.

Or

"You should have spoken to me I would have helped you, made you feel better" anther one would say, even though she had no idea what Sami was going through. She was glad that her and Mum weren't that close to their family because it meant that they could keep their business to themselves. See Mum's mother passed before Sami was born and Dad moved away from his, so it wasn't like she could just skip down to see her grandparents anytime she liked. It was just her and Mum. Dad lived about thirty minutes always and only saw him on Wednesdays and Saturday's, although she'd seen him every day this week which was nice.

Dad was completely different to mum he was kind, like not false kind where people just say kind things to be liked, but kind-hearted. He had been in Sami's life since day one, even know him and Mum were never actually together. Mum was just another one of dad's week long relationships, only she was the unlucky one who fell pregnant. Dad had brown hair, short that he spiked up with gel, was tall, much taller than Sami, which meant that he gave the best hugs. Something that Sami only got from him, Mum wasn't the hugging type. To think about it Mum wasn't affectionate at all. This is why Sami loved going to Dad's house, it was an escape. She felt loved there and like Dad actually wanted to see her and spend time with her. They'd spend hours just talking about nothing. Sami felt like she could tell Dad everything. Well almost everything.