The Decision

"You can't do this." Grant brushed his hair back. His eyes darted around the restaurant as if we were going to get caught having this conversation by the paparazzi. He was my business manager and one of my very best friends. "Running for President isn't some joke or publicity stunt. You could alienate your fan base and there is a chance we'll see some drop-in sales. Grab My P**sy wasn't exactly your bestselling album as it is."

"Yeah I figured you would say all of this and I don't care. I'm doing this, I am running for President. We have to fight billionaire with billionaire, celebrity with celebrity. There is no way in Hell that I am going to let him stay in the White House for another 4 years." I brushed hair from my face and smiled. Grant looked as if his stomach lining had exploded and his blood has been replaced with the acid. "I'm making the announcement Wednesday during the concert at Madison Square Garden, you know while we film the HBO special."
"Oh. My. God." He was trying to catch his breath, sometimes I wondered why I kept him on the payroll. He was brilliant when it came to business dealings but hyperventilated at anything little thing, like running for President or when I told him I wanted to pose nude the day of my wedding. "HBO won't like this. Citizens of the U.S. won't like this. It's a bad idea, you should reconsider this."


"Grant, the decision is made. HBO will love it because it'll bring in a ton of ratings and free publicity. And think about it, the same people who voted him in, only did so because they wanted a non-politician in the White House. I'll capitalize on that." I took a long drink of my white wine. "And once I win, they'll be forced to call me President Eva for the rest of my life."

"Have you thought this all the way through? Most candidates announce from the state where they live. You're announcing while you're working. And...." He sucked in a deep breath and held up a finger to the waiter, signaling he wanted another drink. "Eva, you know I love you. But not everyone does. You have fans of course, but you also have a high level of detractors."

"So, did he before he announced his run. And I'm more politically active than he ever was."

"Have you considered how you are going to get through the crowded primaries? I mean it's not going to be that easy. These people know exactly what they're doing and how to win elections."

"Whenever I open my mouth the press covers me. I'll suck all the air out of the room like they did and watch my opponents drop like flies. You know I can stir the pot just as well as he did, minus the racism and sexism."

"I can't stop you but can I say that I think this is a bad idea one last time?"

"You know that negativity bores me. Do you want to hear my slogan? Of course, you do!" After another long pull from my wine glass, I pulled a T-shirt out of my messenger bag and slid it over to him. "Crazy for you! It's the perfect message and my gay fans will love it."

"Politics is not the same as music. You cannot pander to one demographic with the hope that the rest will follow eventually."

"Did you not watch the last election unfold. He wasn't the favorite going in, most people thought he was a joke except for the rednecks. Once he won them over, slowly other Republican subsets began to support him until his unlikely and unexpected win put him in the White House. I'm going to follow the same formula, except with the Democrats. I've already talked it over with my campaign manager, JoAnne Timpson."

"Is this your way of firing me?"

"Oh, no Grant. In fact, I was hoping that you would work on the campaign with us. You know numbers better than anyone I know, and I trust you implicitly to tell me the truth no matter what. I just didn't expect to have to work so hard to get you on board with my candidacy."

"I just want you to think about what you're doing. You could be putting your entire career on the line. Right now, you have a billion and a half in the bank. With hundreds of millions more rolling in every year. If you run, you risk losing that income."

"If I don't I risk losing everything. This is my country too and I love it. I will do whatever it takes to stop this dystopian scenario from playing out for too much longer. People want me to run, they want me to make history once again and I will. There is no stopping me now."

"Here's what I'm afraid of. One of the negatives about him was that he had no experience and no training as it were, they will say the same about you and worse because you're a woman."

"After the Pope calls you a whore nothing else anyone says matters. I have survived that and I will survive whatever they try to throw at me. Including a certain Conservative news network."

"That is a concern for sure. But you know what, if you think you can do this then who am I to say that you or shouldn't."

"Now that's what I like to hear. There is one thing that I think we need to change about me before the big announcement."

"And this?"

"We need to find me a husband. One that doesn't expect sex or cause me too much embarrassment. I had my eye on one of those Jonas brothers but I think that I might not be their type."

"Well I'm sure we can find someone, if that's what you want."

"It's what America wants."