Sometimes I Struggle

Sometimes I'm tired of pretending to be strong

My ankles seem to break with every step I take

When everyone wants to see me run in place

I just want to lie down on the floor weeping

Staring at the ceiling waiting for my end

Wishing for the room to close down around me

Surrounding me as a casket under the earth

Eventually, I would desire once again to arise

But just not this day or possibly the next few

A simple wish for a time completely alone

Because I don't want to fake it another day

I need time to process these emotions of defeat

Time to soak in the loneliness I push away every day

Where no one demands me smile

No one demands me laugh

No one demands me dance

No one demands me live

No one demands I pretend along with them

Where I can take off my masks and pretend to die

Just for a day or few and then I can return to the life of pretending and smiling and laughing

Please just not today