John and Rita (An Epic Limerick)

We begin with a man named John,
Of whom many were rather fond.
He had a job in a bank,
That he thought was wank,
But pays well so he just gets on.

Now he had a wee wife named Rita,
Who though normally far from a cheater,
Had a fling with a cabbie,
In the back seat, not shabby,
Not registering the tick of the meter.

The now considerable fee,
Did far from fill her with glee.
Which was well within reason
As vehicular sleezing
Is something that ought to be free.

She wanted to call john today,
And plead for him to pay.
But the chances of him
Subsidising her fling
Were rather slim, needless to say.

She struggled to swallow this pill,
So she went to call the old bill.
But they only bother
With rapists and robbers,
Not cabbies just getting their fill.

All of a sudden she saw
Two blokes emerge from a door.
They were knackered and gasping,
She had to stop herself laughing
Cos she knew what they were there for.

But then with eyes squinting tight,
Gazing hard into the night,
She saw it was hubby
Who'd found a new buddy
For what was normally done by his wife.

Now she was raging inside,
She pictured him looking so snide.
He couldn't be gay.
Why wouldn't he say
That he now bats for the other side?

But with even further inspection,
And a bit of keen eyed detection,
Saw it was her dirver,
Not long ago inside her,
That now gave dear john his erections.

Then her rage began to subside
And she soon found a good place to hide.
She began to feel shame,
That she gave John the blame
For something she also had tried.

That night they both did decide
In their better half to confide
That they'd played away,
And for forgiveness they prayed,
Hoping that would make things turn out right.

But dear reader the tragedy is,
That it did not work out like this.
The conversation went silent,
And then things turned violent;
A bloodbath instead of a kiss.

She screamed with all of her might,
And threatened to take dear John's life.
He first laughed her off
But then ceased to scoff
When introduced to a kitchen knife.

As the blade settled deep in his belly,
He shoved her with more than some welly.
Dear Rita went flying
Face first into an iron
Left turned on while watching the telly.

Bleeding and scalded they crawled,
Attempting to finish the brawl.
But neither one made it,
As life from them faded;
The saddest affair of them all.

So what is the moral of the tale?
Not to continue a marriage that's stale?
All that we know, after this grizzly show
Is that some cabs are better not hailed.