aesthetics

This aesthetic pleases me
little do you know it diseases me

I have fairy light rashes all over
and polaroid scars from where my acrylic nails itch too hard

"the doctor will see you now"
I describe my symptoms and she sighs
just another visually obsessed millennial child

she must see so many hipster wannabes
who sit across from her in their dungarees, sweating glitter
describing their debilitating disease

the quotes about freedom suffocating their bedroom walls
wont let them be free
and then there's me
find joy in renovating, decorating, regurgitating images from pinterest.

and when I sit in that space I find little piece of mind
knowing the creativity splattered here is mostly from other peoples minds
I take endless pictures so people know
and feel a nauseatingly luminous glow
when people say its 'cool' and that they’re jealous

I guess thats all anyone wants, for other people to desire what they have
and I can't see if that makes me bad
because my urban outfitters beanie
that modestly shouts 'i'm so fab'
is pulled too far over my eyes.

Aesthetics will sooth temporarily
but a firework seen from too close can make us all a little blind.