Biography: I'm Sorry

Well, if you're reading this, then I am assuming you know my name so there's a start. Just in case you don't, my name is Brad [Insert funny last name here], and I was raised in the city. I will not disclose the city because of reasons you will soon understand.

So my life started on a court case, believe it or not. I was born and the judge had to decide whether I would stay with my grandparents or my mom and dad. My brother, whom I love until the end... even though I will never say it, fought for me to go with my grandparents because my mother was bipolar and some of that trait has fallen onto myself. Only a minor amount, thankfully. Either way, I grew up normally, and here is the timeline:

Kindergarten: Normal, made some friends

First Grade: Normal

Second Grade: Normal

Third Grade: Normal, but, apparently, the teacher was a bitch and I hate that my grandfather made the seismograph model without me and allowed me to turn it in as a completed project. Little did I know that he would attempt to replicate this type of behavior in my life again... Whatever.

Fourth Grade: Was diagnosed as mentally retarded and that I needed special education to further advance myself. LOL, sure dude, whatever you say.

Fifth Grade: Moved to a different school and, perhaps where I felt completely isolated. I got into fights and didn't make any friends. Whatever. Lost my best friends from my previous school now. I did want to play more sports.

Sixth Grade: I moved to yet another school. An arts school where the three forms of fun are: Singing/Dancing/Drama. There were two types of dancing in the school: Ballet/Jazz and it was a requirement to take Dance as well... Assholes. Anyway, so I formed a group of friends who were all guys because... there were only 5 guys in our class. Made some... 'interesting' friends too. One taught me how to steal and get caught, the other... I just didn't like very much.

I learned how to masturbate around this time.

Seventh Grade: Same deal. The one part that resonated with me is that one of my guy classmates said to me: "You shouldn't leave this school because you won't be able to make friends anywhere else." This resonated with me and so I told my parents that if I get an A in one class, then I am allowed to stay in this school... Did not work but I was able to get an A in my desired class. I think I learned that if I wanted to try, I can do good. However... I did not play any sports during Sixth or Seventh Grade. Yet... I do remember experiencing the death of one of my classmates... Because the teacher told us about this and I never saw her again. I even remember talking to her once but I can not recall her anymore.

Break: Note that I had to hide the fact who my real mother was during this time. I was aware of who my mother was, but I was not allowed to tell anyone. I was told that I would be ostracized if I told people. I felt sad about this, even now...

Eighth Grade: I went to a new school again. No friends I kept in contact with and everyone formed their own cliques and whatever. Stupid shit drama. I ate by myself a lot and I guess a couple of guys started talking to me. They were pretty funny but they also did drugs, apparently. I think I felt alone a lot.

I got to try out for sports finally, like I always wanted too but, because I never trained or had any formal training, I never made it on to any team I tried out for. Kind of sucks, honestly.

My self-confidence is fairly low. Also, myspace is created around this time. So, kids had a lot of fun playing with myspace.

HS Freshman: I moved from my old city to a new city, and I went to a new high school. I didn't think too much about the constant amount of transitions I made but I just kind of went with the flow and waited for people to notice me. I made friends with one girl who showed me anime and I feel like we should have dated but we never did. The city was pretty much an old person's town for people who want to live in the 'rich' city. So, the town was small and most kids already had a group they grew up with.

Around this time, I was told that I was no longer allowed to use my real first name anymore. So people called me 'Chris' instead of 'Brad' because the person we were running away from should not attempt to find us if I am able to hide my identity.

I was told, later on, that my mother put a gun to my grandmother's head when I was in school and she was at work. So my grandmom has been traumatized ever since. I tell her from time to time to quit smoking but... I won't force her to stop. I understand why.

Eventually, however, kids found out and began to call me 'ChrisBrad', which had a funny ring too it.

I never tried out for football or basketball, probably because I did not want to relive the embarrassment of walking up to a piece of paper and feeling utterly disappointed that I didn't make it. I did make it playing "Baseball" but I think the sport was really boring so I didn't want to play Junior Year.

HS Sophomore: I started the semester by saying I was gay to someone. Because Chuck and Larry premiered and I thought that I could touch someones boobs by doing so. Sad to say, it didn't work and now people questioned my sexuality the entire time. I got into a lot of shit for this one. Not gay bashing but self-inflicted bashing and problems in my own home. I think I was desperate to find a girlfriend that I would have done about anything to have one.

In truth, I don't think I had any real friends for a while. I just had people who were near me and talked to me. Normal teenage crap everyone goes through. I got my first cell phone though.

HS Junior: I got into the football team this year and I didn't play much but I thought it was a lot of fun. So this was the year where I worked my ass off to play in varsity football. I worked out every day I could and kept working out more and more.

HS Senior: I made it into varsity and I was able to get good grades at the same time. I didn't think I could do it but I did and I got an award for my hard work as well. I was just having fun now but, near the end of the season, my coach died and I didn't want to play anymore. I don't think his death got to me, I think I was just worn out and I needed to rest. Either way, I moved forward and found what I liked.

I had a choice around this time to study Calculus or sleep in. I chose to sleep in and take band instead. I fear that I may have made a poor choice that year because I question what my life would have been like if I did study Calculus that day instead...

Around this time, I went to prom alone but I didn't have a date and my parents forced me to go. I may have regretted not going but I wish my friends were there but there wasn't a girl to dance with so I did not dace much. I was the guy that stood around the punch and I just told the teachers that I just wanted to leave but they forced us to stay there.... I love the way they teach but I hate that they forced me to stay in a place that I did not feel comfortable staying in... I checked it out, didn't like it and stayed for three hours awkwardly standing around... Great...

Anyway, we graduate, move on with our lives. Most of my classmates went to university and I went to one of the smallest community colleges. Literally, one or two cute girls, and the rest were just old men and old women. All because I believe this would save me some money.

This is the part where I regret not taking calculus because I probably could have pushed myself to become an engineer earlier on in my life.

So, I'm in this tiny college for two years getting my Associate degree in guitar and, honestly, I love playing the guitar. I also made music videos in my spare time as well. Yet, I took College Algebra and got a "C" in that class so I thought that I wasn't as good in Math as I thought... That changed later.

So, I play my guitar most of the time here and I didn't get a job because the job market in this city sucks horribly. Needless to say, I didn't find work for a long time in this city I lived in. I didn't really have any friends either for two years.

After my graduation, I did not really know what to do anymore. I could just stay home playing video games but I did not know if I should go to university when I have no money to do so and I was not exactly the 'star' student to get a great scholarship. I thought I should be a doctor but I did not like Anatomy & Physiology. Worst subject to study and I hate memorizing.

Suddenly, the housing market crashes and our family is right in the middle. We're on the verge of being homeless because of a certain situation, in a city where the job market is complete shit. So... We lucked out on a short sale and moved into the city. Once we moved to the city, I found a job as a courtesy clerk (I was demoted because I sucked at the job they wanted me to do). I ended up going back to community college again and I took two classes:

"Art" and "Trigonometry". I wanted to take art because I have been making music videos and I wanted to animate my own videos. I took Trigonometry to see how bad I really was at math. Turns out, I judged myself insanely hard when I compared my work with other people's work because I thought their art pieces were insanely great and mine was... decent. So, I did not draw again after that. I did like Trigonometry though.