The Presence

THE PRESENCE

Antony , Is my name , a very common name in our village 'Kodimunai' . Our village is situated , 22 kilometers north-west of Kanyakumari at the south Arabian seashore . Yes, a village at the seashore , nothing makes me more happier than the sound of the waves , the smell of the beach , the taste of the fresh fish and of course the affection of my people here . around 7000 would be the total population of my village , in which 70% of the population are literate which is almost 11% more than the total population of the country . But , this story is about me and yes , I am a part of the remaining 30% of the above statement .

It might be funny the reason I chose not to study but only I know how deep it is for me to be a fisherman at the age of 15 rather than going to school . All for the love of my mother towards my father , who still walks at the shore every day in the morning and evening at 6 sharp , just to see or check if he's back , everyone in the village knows his boat sank while fishing farther down the normal limit area to work . But, nothing seem to upset my mother , she waits and waits and waits every day for my father , I used to go with her to the shore every day until I became a fisherman myself , I could see tears in her eyes every day when we return back home from the shore .She doesn't really searches for him at the shore , we go there and stand at one particular place where you could see the sunrise clearly and just wait there , I used to go play with water and when I look back , I used to wonder what was it that makes her wait at the shore , when everyone says his boat sank and he's dead .

The first day I went for fishing out in the sea was adventurous , it took us 30 mins to go to the perfect spot to halt for fishing right before the sea limit for us to fish . I looked at the other side and it reminded me of the words my mother said before I started from the shore, ' I am not scared of the sea , neither did your father nor should you ' , of course it was motivating but , who wouldn't be scared of the sea ? one big wave and it could swallow you up in a second , but I feel confident with those words in my head . Coming back to fishing , I had to do almost all the work because I am the fresher and I have to learn to perfect it , we were 3 of us on the boat and since it was my first time , we dint go deep into the sea , it was my uncle and his older son with him and he wanted me to cast the net perfectly before we go deep inside . ' It won't be smooth deep inside compared to this place , be prepared for anything boy ' , said my uncle before I headed back home after my first day at fishing with a huge salmon as a gift from him . Those words didn't really get into my ears , I wanted to see my mom first , I wanted to hug her , i wanted to show her the fish , I could see my mom waiting for me at the doorstep as I went running towards her , i could see how excited she is to welcome me back , it reminded me of my mom waiting for my dad every day at the shore , it made me slow down and the thought of it came back as I jogged towards my mom and looking at her waiting , I sensed her pain , i sensed her longing to embrace her love , but I know she knows that he's dead , but why does she waits at the shore everyday ? how would it had been if dad returned home that day the way I'm returning home today .


That night was so special, mom was emotional as I could feel her happiness through the taste of the fish curry she made for dinner , my grandma used to tell , you cook the best food when you're happy and it was damn delicious , I've never tasted anything better in my life so far . I asked her ' ma , what do you do when you miss someone ? ', mom smiled while bringing me more food , she sat beside me and what she told made me more confused , ' I don't know son , because whoever I would have had a chance to miss is always with me no matter what ' , I was confused , what does that mean ? 'do you mean that dad is here ? ' I asked mom again , she smiled more and replied ' he comes when you need him the most son ' , I could see tears wanted to roll down her cheeks and with that more confusing answer I stood up to wash my plates and hands to rest for the night.

' what is my champ saying ? ' asked my dad to my mom , ' he kicked me twice today ' , there was love in her words , my dad , I think he came closer as I could hear his voice clearer , ' take it easy champ , you're mother isn't strong as you ' , his whisper made me react and poor mother she had to feel it .

I woke up to that dream like memory or a memory like a dream , either way that made me think to what father said , ' no dad , mom is the strongest woman I've ever seen ' , I said to myself . Coming back to reality I called out mom for some coffee , while I went to brush and have shower . I came out to see that my coffee which will be ready every day and kept at the stool near my old mattress was not there , I called out mom again and there was no response , I looked everywhere inside the house and there was no sight of her . I checked the time and relaxed a bit , it was 6:00 am and I have slept past my usual wake-up time . I din mind to get ready at all , we love walking and roaming without a shirt or t-shirt on in our village , of course my pants were on and went to the beach to find mom .

I could see her standing at the same place where she always stands as long as she wishes to move just looking at the shore and embracing the wind and the smell of the sea . She was happy , I guess , I've never seen her this relaxed . I dint want to disturb her moment , as I headed back home my thought was fully into my mom waiting at the shore , is she really searching for him or is she going there just to embrace their last moment together before my dad headed to his last day of work in his life . I started shivering while I thought about it , I was undergoing something strange .


It's been a week since I started fishing , and ' today is the day ' , my uncle looked at me , it was my first day to go far into the sea , I was ready , well that's what my uncle said and off we went into the sea , I could see my mom looking at me sailing off but I could hear her praying that I should come back safe and that made me think , is it only with my mom or is it with every mothers , wives , daughters , sisters ? I could feel how hard will that be , I don't want my mom to go through it anymore , not because of me , I made myself clear that day , while I was off to my first day of me fishing far into the sea near the limit , where my father died , I made one thing clear that no matter what happens , I will go back to my mom .

I did , I did go back to my mom , I could see her waiting at the same place where she waits for my father , I felt that strange feeling again , I started to feel as if someone was around me as I kept looking at mom , suddenly I felt a presence , i felt a hand touching my shoulders , I looked back to see my father . I couldn't believe it , I shouted ' mom mom dad is here , dad is back , dad dint die , mom mom ' I kept shouting for nothing . my mom did not respond , not even a nod , I started running but was stopped by my father , ' son ' , he called me looking right into my eyes , ' all these days , I embraced her with presence as I promised no matter what I will go back to her before the wave swallowed me up , I think your presence is what she needs now , go go fulfill your promise just as I kept doing all these days ' .

' I love you mom ' , I say it every day when she comes at the shore at sharp 6 in the mornings and evenings .