What this Atheist Learned from his Born-again Sister |
Written June 2, 2008 I only get to see my family once a year. For this reason I send out frequent e-mails describing my life overseas. Though I seldom get responses, I had assumed that everyone in my family was reading them. It turns out I was wrong. Last summer, while I was in Tennessee, my sister and I were taking a stroll when I made a comment about our mother being disappointed that I had declared myself an atheist. My sister didn't act surprised, and I didn't expect her to. I had made no secret of my atheism; in fact I had mentioned it in several of my e-mails. However, a few months after I had returned to Korea, I got a letter from my sister. She had been struggling, those past few months, trying to find the words to express her concerns. She had not written to condemn me. She had written because she was scared: scared that I was not living up to my full potential, scared that I was not as happy as I could be, and scared that my soul was in jeopardy. She blamed herself for not being a better "ambassador for Christ." In short, my off the cuff remark had caused my sister to suffer for months. I felt awful. Why hadn't I just kept my mouth shut? I decided to call my sister. We did not waste any time trying to convert one another. She repeated her concerns, and though she would not actually say that she thought I was going to hell, it was clearly among her fears. Most disturbing for me was her idea that she had not done enough to bring me to Christ. I tried to convince her that there was nothing to worry about. I told her that if God was truly just and loving, he would not punish someone for not believing in something for which there is no proof. I told her that if God loved her, he would not separate her from her brother and send him to hell. Finally, I asked if she believed that God had a plan. Of course she did. I asked if she believed that natural disasters and disease were a part of that plan. Again, she conceded that she did. So then I asked her if hurricanes, earthquakes, cancer, and all of these other terrible things can be part of God's plan, isn't it possible that atheists are a part of God's plan, too. I didn't get a yes, but I got a chuckle. Since I don't believe in God, it is hard for me to believe that he has a plan. However, one thing is for certain. If an atheist is kind, respectful and moral, then he can demonstrate to believers that it is possible for an atheist to be kind, respectful, and moral. Likewise, my dear sister will always serve as a reminder to me that it is a mistake to presume that a born-again Christian is self-righteous and judgmental. My sister and I are as close as ever. I regret the pain I caused her, but I am glad to know that nothing - not even God Almighty - can come between us. |